Commit

Its almost over. The holidays, the month, and the year. Was this my best month yet? Absolutely not. I hope I can come out of this month without gaining. I will be content with that. That means I will need to lose a half pound today to come out even. Im sure that is doable.

I dont know whats going on with me lately. I dont necessarily think its a funk, because usually those just last a few weeks for me. This has been ongoing for the whole month. I just been really off. In all areas of my life it seems. A lot of negative talk has come back in place, which isnt helping matters. I need to refocus. Earlier this week I said enough is enough. Slowly Ive been eating better each day. Not perfection or even close to perfection. But better, and improving each day. Eating in this mind frame is always a struggle though. As for exercise well we were swamped over the holidays, which isnt any reason not to work out, but I didnt. I was planning on doing a race on NYE, and have been going back and forth if I am going to do it or not. As of Friday I hadnt ran in 10 days. And this is a 4 mile race, which is a little more intense than a 5K for me...especially since Ive only ran 4 miles one time. But I said you know what, commit Melis. Commit already. None of this shoulda, coulda, woulda. Live for today because who knows whats going to happen tomorrow. So I got out on Friday and did 4 miles. It wasnt as bad as I thought it would be. And than on Saturday I went out and did 3 miles. So yesterday I officially went and registered, so a 4 mile run is what I will be doing NYE at 4pm. Im debating if I will run today or not. Figure Ill rest up for tomorrow. Please let the winds be minimal, since it is on an island and I hear the winds get you from both directions. Maybe I need that little kick in the ass from mother nature.

Its been a hard month, but the last 6 months have been pretty decent. So what better way to end this year than on a positive note. And I think being in the race atmosphere will bring my mood up and maybe kick some motivation into me :) Two things I could use desperately right now.

I updated my layout....damn I didnt realize we had so many new members. Sorry Ive been slacking on the comments lately. Ive also revamped my goals for 2008. I feel 2008 is going to be my year. I havent had one year yet where I felt it was "my year". I deserve one.

That Bandito!

So just thought Id check in. Life has been busy but good. I have been enjoying all the get togethers. We had Grants Christmas work party Friday night. Dinner and a comedy show. His boss is a riot, he had everyone singing christmas carols when we walked from the restaurant to the comedy club. He works for such a great man. He really shows his appreciation for his employees, and is so genuine about it. Those type of bosses and companies are a needle in a haystack! I love his work parties, they are always a great time!

Last night we had Christmas with my sisters, and we got a family picture. Bandito just couldnt help but add his holiday cheer to the picture. Click on the picture to enlarge and you will see what Im talking about. That silly dog.

Im feeling like crap. Absolute crap. And I know its from all the beer Ive been drinking, and all the crap Ive been eating. I did get in plenty of water today, and only ate a sub but yet my stomach is still twisting and turning. The next two days are pretty low key for us. Tomorrow we head to Grants dads, and theres about 8 of us. Im pretty good keeping myself in check around them. And Im bringing some framboise, so I wont be drinking more beer which always results in feeling bloated. And on Christmas we are heading to my moms in the afternoon, it will just be the four of us and all the dogs of course. I did great at Thanksgiving at her house, so Im sure Ill be fine. Exercise needs to be done. I was going to go jogging today but the weather was so brutal..it just didnt happen. Doesnt look like the weather is going to let up, so I need to figure out something. Tomorrow Ill probably pop in a dvd before he head out to Grants dads. I need to.

I found out some bad news last night. Remember my friend Dawn that has breast cancer? Well her family and her have decided to stop treatment and hospice is in place. Im still processing the news, but while out today trying to get some last minute shopping done I could feel that I was just in a daze going through the motions. Im so angry, yet so sad. All of us that did the 3 day together in 2004 are trying to work out a day where we all are going to go see her next week. Please keep Dawn and her family in your thoughts and prayers. Next years walk is going to be so hard, but this is why I do this walk, and will continue to walk every year until there is a cure. :(

Well we are heading out to buy the doggies their presents and than going to see Juno. Hope all of you are doing better than me :-/

Never Giving Up

I wasnt sure what to blog about and didnt really feel like blogging about my daily woes (since it sounds like the same old story) so found a quote that feels fitting for my life this week.

"Be not afraid of going slowly; be afraid only of standing still." - Chinese Proverb

Lately it often feels like Im standing still. And reading this quote today reminded me that moving slowly definitely has an upper hand on standing still. Sometimes I think doing little is almost like standing still. But something is better than nothing. So standing still shouldnt even been on my agenda, or in my vocabulary. As frustrated as I get because things are moving slowly I have to remember that moving slowly is better than not moving at all. So when I have a mishap, and I let it get me down and do absolutely nothing that is when I am standing still. If I have a mishap but get right back on track, I am moving slowly. Moving slowly is the way I want to go. When I give up by standing still, I am failing. And failing is when I quit, and Im not a quitter. Ive never been a quitter so why should I start now? So every situation that is "slow moving" is another learning opportunity for me. I need to take advantage of that learning opportunity to make me stronger the next time it comes up.

I guess this is still like my same old blogs. lol I think the more I pound this into my brain, the more Ill practice it. Every meal, every snack just seems like such a hard decision lately. This holiday season really has thrown me for a loop. Today at work someone was asking me for advice on how to lose weight, eat healthier, and workout. That did feel good. And she said you look so thin today. That was also nice to hear. Especially when I feel like Im the total opposite right now. I think I really need to go jogging. That always pumps me up and gets me feeling good and on track. I wish the sidewalks were clear and it wasnt icey. I have Saturday - Tuesday off. Im voluntarily going in next week Wed - Fri. We shut down (automotive industry), but since I work in accounts receivable the money keeps coming in so we have the option to work. We get to use the days as comp days in the following year. And with two 3 days, I need the extra days. The nice thing is we can wear whatever those days, so Ill bring my workout gear or just wear some sweats and go jogging right after work. Im wondering if Ill still be able to do the 4miler race on NYE with the weather the way it is...I hope so!

Blogging, Milestone, and Control

So a lot of the times I only blog from work. My desktop at home died probably around 1.5 years ago. I never wanted to put out the money to buy a new one, well more like never had the money. And Grant has a desktop and a laptop, so I would always jump on his desktop if I needed to use it at night. Well now that its winter and the basement is FREEEEZZZING, I barely go on it. So Ill jump on his laptop when hes not using it. Which is usually why my blogs can be scarce. Well last night I got an early Christmas present. Grant couldnt keep it a secret any longer. I got a laptop! I was sooo surprised! Im am going back to school in the Spring, and trying to get my degree done (been going for the last 10 years off and on), so its really is the perfect gift. I am so geeked, as you can see my cheesy grin in that picture. So blogging at night is a must do now ;)

Life has been pretty much the same as last week. Ill have a good day, than a bad day. No consistency..which is something I need. I really am letting my willpower go, and I dont know whats come over me. Its like one taste of that sugar and I cant stop. I know my moods probably have something to do with it lately. Also Ive also been hanging out with some new friends, and a lot of Lia Sophia functions. There has been spreads like you wouldnt believe. So I may be even using food as an security blanket in social situations. Especially since the people Im around seem to be indulging in all the food themselves. Im still digging into this social aspect and trying to figure out if Im replacing food with what use to be alcohol....interesting thought. In reality, food makes me feel better and even more secure (that sounds weird typing that out), this is an ongoing problem Im aware of but have yet to master controlling it. My weight has been fluctuating up and down, up and down. I am the only one to blame, I lost control.

This past weekend I did have a milestone. I jogged my first 4 miler. I did it in about 45 minutes. I just found a comfortable pace, and went with it. I felt pretty good during and after. We had this snow storm so jogging is out of the question right now. Its a little icy, and the sidewalks arent clear. Im hoping maybe I can get out to the community center after work this week and again on the weekend. I think their path may be clear. Other than that Ive did nothing except one workout to a DVD. Although maybe I can count shoveling snow, and walking in 3 miles christmas shopping as exercise :p

Its a little embarrassing. All that talk I said about this is my month. Maybe I should learn to walk the walk. It feels like I almost jinxed myself! I still have two weeks left, I can still turn it around and that is exactly what I have to do. Can I do it? I sure hope so. Sadly at this point, not gaining any weight seems like it may be a miracle!

So when I got home today I planted my butt on the couch, and was figuring out what I was going to do with my evening. Did not want to work out. So I started browsing through some old pictures, thought it may motivate me. Grant came home and asked if I worked out yet? I said no, but I should. And he said yeah you should or your going to be mad at yourself. So I did. And it felt good. I can tell Im super bloated from all the sugar Ive had lately. I feel gross and my stomach is pretty nasty. That should be motivation enough! I compared some before/after pictures and saw how far Ive come.

Its crazy how you come so far and than you hit these roadblocks...its like I know what I have to do so why am I not doing it? I post these blogs from time to time and its like the same old song. I seriously just need to get it together, and realize I control who and what I want to be. I wonder if I can handle indulgement, because it appears that when I do indulge is when I go way off track. I need to figure out how to indulge in moderation, and get right back on track after it. Or notice when there are certain times I simply cant handle indulging so shouldn't do it.

Finding My Groove

Tip # 12 - Shop when full. Shopping on an empty stomach can lead to overeating on the unhealthy food court fare. Also stash some emergency healthy snacks in your car or purse. Try nuts, whole grain crackers, and dried fruit.

Boy oh boy do I know this tip all to well. I have gone grocery shopping on an empty stomach one to many times. Bad, bad idea! Ive learned to always eat before any shopping now. Im going Christmas shopping this weekend actually...so I will make sure Im filled up so I dont cave into the cinnabuns, pretzels with cheese, or cookies I see!

So the funk is still here...it comes and goes at different times. I did exactly what you all said and worked out even though I didnt want to. When I got home from the doctors it was close to dark, so I popped in a workout dvd and squeezed that in before a Lia Sophia party. I was happy that I did it when I was done, so thank you for those comments yesterday. Today I had court at 9:30am, so I was off from work in the morning. So I woke up early and went out for a jog. I only got in 2 miles, but its better than nothing. I was going really slow to, but that didnt bother me. It felt like a nice pace and I was doing something! I have found myself snacking to much though. First it started last night by going to the party without eating dinner. So I munched on all kinds of bad foods...Doritos, yogurt covered cookies, eclair chocolate puffs, etc. I did taste some yummie rasberry beer...not sure how bad that was though. And at work today I wasnt much better! A few chocolate carmel corns (sounds gross, but they were yummie), and I ate a bag of Salt and Vinegar chips at lunch. I think its that time of the month where Im getting those cravings. So I need to work through those with healthier options. I need to nip this in the butt right away, or it could end badly. So I will bring my own healthy snacks the rest of the month...thats the only way I wont snack on those not so good foods!

I need to go back and read some blogs from the beginning of the month...this is suppose to be my month! My time to finish off the year with a bang. Im so close to my weight loss goal and I dont want to take 5 steps back and hate myself in January for it. I will not let my moods/emotions dictate my actions. I am in control, and only me.

So tonight I have another Lia Sophia party, and I will NOT snack on unhealthy treats. And this weekend I will be a successful weekend warrior. Funk you will be gone ;)

A Funk

So Im not sure what my deal is lately. Im just very meh. No particular reason, nothing really going on to bring me down....so Im not sure what this funk is all about. I know this happens time to time, as it has many times while on this journey. I just hope it passes sooner than later.

I haven't worked out since Saturday, but it was a great workout. I went for a jog up at the community center. I decided I would do some HIIT. I did a total of 2 miles, with 4 rounds of sprints - they probably were 1 to 2 minutes. It kicked my ass. I didnt know if Id make it back to the car :p Dripping in sweat in twenty degree weather is pretty satisfying I might add. :)

Since than there has been time to workout, I just havent. But I need the boost, if for my mood at the minimum. So hopefully my doctors appt today wont go over an hour, if its less I can go get a jog in while its still light out. Ive decided against the Arthritis 5k this Saturday since I shouldnt be spending the extra money right now, even if it is fitness related. Im running the race on NYE which is only two more weeks away, so Im still in a race this month. I need to work on increasing my distance to since that race is 4 miles. I was thinking of buying some new weights for at home workouts as a Christmas present for myself, but probably not till after Christmas. Im debating what weight to get though, want it to last me a while. I really like those adjustable weights but they are a little pricey for my budget right now.

It was so great to meet Beck and Kevin, and see everyone else again. We are so lucky to have so many of us in one state. I have to admit I was a little intimidated to meet Kevin, I think its due to all the intense pictures he posts. Intimidating? Nah. Beck and him are such great people, and I hope they move back to Michigan! The time flew by so fast! Dont you love that? Your having such a great time that time literally flies by. We could of chatted all night if we had time :) Poor Grant was sick that day, and I felt bad for dragging him out. He crashed when we got home for the night. :(

You would think after Sundays meeting with the lovely FAT members, Id be motivated more. And hearing all of Robs hurdles lately definitely gets me inspired...but where can I find some more motivation?

This is kinda of a whining post, so I think Ill stop now. I need to change gears, things could be worse. I think I need to find some Christmas spirit to get me back in the right mind frame. That always puts a smile on my face :)

Playing Catch Up

Funny how I lasted like 7 days with the daily blogging. LOL Also ironic that I haven't exercised since Saturday, which was close to when the last day I blogged....funny how that works eh?

I do have to say the busy schedule has set in a little bit, between Christmas shopping, appts, and trying to get my Lia Sophia business off....I dont find a lot of time left in the day. But enough to workout, so I have no excuse except lazy. Ill blog more about that later. But now time for some more tips.

Tip # 8 - Stay organized.Keep a running list of errands, groceries, and gifts, and make a plan to finish as many things in as few trips as possible. You'll save time, gas and your own sanity!

I do this time from time, but I have definitely did this for the month of December. Just to many things going on right now...that how could I not. Im such a spreadsheet geek sometimes, and you would think I get sick of it since I work with them all day! My gift buying spreadsheet is quite impressive I might add. :) Anyhoo, Im always looking to save gas and time, so this is a daily task in my schedule.

Tip # 9 - Think before you bite. Before you try every irresistible food that crosses you path, think first. How will you feel after you eat them? Is the taste really worth it? Could you enjoy just a small amount instead?

Ironically, I practiced this tip the other night. I had a meeting on Monday night (an hour away, bleh!), and my manager ordered appetizers for everyone. Read that as deep fried everything! I looked at it, and said its not worth it....and no I couldnt enjoy just one. So passed on it, and got a lite beer instead. Which was quite enjoyable I might add. Dont worry it was for Lia Sophia, so very casual where ordering a beer wasnt "unprofessional", as most woman were drinking margaritas. lol

Tip # 10 - Walk more. Keep a brisk walking pace while you do your holiday shopping. Instead of wasting time looking for a closer parking spot, take a faraway one to increase your activity (and save time).

I do this all the time, since walking is my forte ;) When looking for parking spots, I usually park farther away to get extra exercise. And with the new mini cooper, Grant doesnt want anyone banging their door into it, so he even parks far away now to. Brisk walking while shopping...Ill have to remember that...Im such a window shoppper though so that one may be hard. But at the mall I will take the stairs vs the escalator ;)

Tip # 11 - Enjoy a preparty snack. If you arrive famished, you're more likely to devour too much of the wrong things. Try a combination of fiber, protein and healthy fats for more filling power.

This is a great tip, and I need to remember it more often. The other night I was really famished when I got to that meeting. Thankfully I didnt devour to many of the wrong things, but I did get to the point where I felt sick because I was so famished. Not the smartest move.

Tip# 12 - Wash your hands. The holiday season coincides with cold and flu season. Keep germs at bay by washing your hands well after shopping, visiting and
more. No one wants sickness to interfere with their fun!

I definitely dont want any more sickness! Wash, Wash, Wash...now if only some of the people at work would wash their hands. Its seriously so gross.

I need some breakfast and than Ill blog more :)

Hold on to your hats boys and girls, I missed 2 days worth of tips so double the fun today :)

Tip 6 - Focus on people. Too often, food takes center stage of our holiday gatherings. Instead, focus on your loved ones, activities, and other traditions that make the holidays meaningful.

I like this tip a lot. Its exactly what you can do to stay away from the food. Rather than hang out in the kitchen, picking at the spread. I can take a relative in another room and catch up on each others lives. Or better yet, I can also involve myself with playing with the kids...they never have time to eat :)

Tip 7 - Budget wisely. Watch your food intake during the day if you're going to a party that night. Make healthy, filling choices beforehand, budgeting a few more calories to account for the party fare.

When I first read this, I thought thats right budget wisely money wise! But how could I forget, this is fitness/diet related. lol Its very easy to not watch my food intake during this time of the year. Usually my calendar is filled with activities, my to do list is a mile long, and food is sometimes the last thing on my mind. So in those situations sometimes I will grab whatever is convenient, and easiest. No I can not do that. My food intake is just as important as my activities and my to do lists. So this tip is a great one to keep in mind. Be aware of what Im eating and how much during the day. And if I am going to be at a party/event where there may be some nice yummie treats, and delicious drinks than I have to plan. Budget for those extra calories, and in the end Ill will be happier that I did. :)

So this weekend is the last weekend that Grant and I have to just relax. Than our busy schedules start, with our calendars filled with things to do. So we are going to do just that, relax. Today we are going to put up the tree. Im super excited about this, as Ive mentioned before how much I love Christmas decorations. We are still trying to figure out where we are going to put it....some rearranging will have to be done. Oh boy, the dogs will not like that one bit! Since they are the boss around here with their own couch in one window, and their own bed (futon) in the opposite window. They are so spoiled.

The sun is shining so bright today that the basement is fully light up....which is a hard thing to do! So Im definitely going to head out there and enjoy it a bit. I think Ill head to the bike path for a jog today, for a different scenery. I want to try to do some HIIT in my jog. I tried it last night and I dont know if I can do it. Im sure I can. But lately I cant seem to push anything further than 3 miles, and even doing that I feel like Im struggling to not stop. (Can I try to blame it on the snow and ice I ran on? That was fun :) ) I can only keep a steady speed, and nothing more. Im still managing about 10-11 minute miles, but I feel like Im going so slow, but maybe I need to go even slower (if thats possible) so I can increase my speed later in the run. I think going to the bike path will help because I wont be able to worry about traffic, and the miles will be marked. So today I will push myself. I will work out this HIIT, and feel great when Im done. I can do this.

Another Sign - this time in my inbox

So this morning I got an email from Spark People, (Im getting all kinds of good things from them this month!), and I think its absolutely what I needed to hear. After my day yesterday it helped set my priorities straight, and refocus on what really is important.

A Story of Priorities and a Jar

Tips for Squeezing More into Your Life

A professor of philosophy stood before his class with some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a large empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks about two inches in diameter. He then asked the students if the jar was full.

They agreed that it was full.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly and watched as the pebbles rolled into the open areas between the rocks. The professor then asked the students again if the jar was full.

They chuckled and agreed that it was indeed full this time.

The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. The sand filled the remaining open areas of the jar. “Now,” said the professor, “I want you to recognize that this jar signifies your life. The rocks are the truly important things, such as family, health and relationships. If all else was lost and only the rocks remained, your life would still be meaningful. The pebbles are the other things that matter in your life, such as work or school. The sand signifies the remaining “small stuff” and material possessions.

If you put sand into the jar first, there is no room for the rocks or the pebbles. The same can be applied to your lives. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are truly important.

Pay attention to the things in life that are critical to your happiness and well-being. Take time to get medical check-ups, play with your children, go for a run, write your grandmother a letter. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, or fix the disposal. Take care of the rocks first – things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just pebbles and sand.

Finding time in the day for fitness or participating in other athletic endeavors should be considered a “rock” for us all. Physiologically, working out releases endorphins in the body. These endorphins are natural pain-relievers produced by the body. This is what gives us the natural high experienced after a workout. This natural high has the potential to positively influence our daily interactions by making us feel better about ourselves. Make fitness a rock solid priority in your life and reap the benefits.

Moral of the story for me? Quit wasting ALL of my energy on the smaller things, and letting those small things dictate my actions. When the day seems like a failure, theres nothing better to focus on me, especially by doing a workout :)

Listen to the signs

Try healthier recipes. When treats are in the house, more of the dessert usually ends up in your belly than in your guests. So keep some low fat, low-calorie recipes and foods on hand.

Do you have to cook in order to have low fat, low calorie recipes on hand? :p I do cook just not that often. :) Low fat, low calories foods on hand..I can do that one though :) Im the type of person that is out of sight out of mind. So if those goodies are in the house...I will eat them. So this month I must keep them out of the house! As you read about my peanut butter cookie indulgement the other night. This tip is good though, its reminds you to plan, plan, plan. Without a plan, only the strong survive. And I was quite the example of that today!

Today was a really weird day. Is it possible that I actually had every mood face in the image above? I have felt really torn like in a tug of war with my emotions lately. I think it may be a result of S.A.D., Seasonal affective disorder. Or maybe not. I feel I have experienced S.A.D in previous years, but that's self diagnosing myself. Maybe I should ask for one of those special light bulbs for Christmas so it can help me out. The sun was just out yesterday and for a bit today, so maybe Im wrong. I should check my calendar, maybe its that time of the month :p Sorry guys. lol

Anyways, back to my day. So I planned half the day, up to lunch. After that I was sort of winging it. Yeah...winging it really isnt my forte, so Im not sure what I was thinking about that. I had to go in for blood work after work so by the time I got home I was pretty famished! And irrated with traffic at that point. When did rush hour start at fricken 3pm around here?! So on the way home what do I see talking to me? The McDonald's sign. I dont even like McDonald's that much anymore..but the fries were smelling good. I pulled right in. Oh wait isnt this when Im suppose to call you Kristen so you can talk me out of it? Well I ordered a cheeseburger and fries and get up to the window and they dont open the window, they release a drawer for you to put your money through. Wouldn't you know...my money wasnt secure and it blew away....if thats not a sign that I shouldnt of been getting McDonalds..than I dont know what is! But I caught the money and still got the food. Of course I felt like crap after eating it, and I was exhausted which seems to be a daily thing for me now, so took a nap. I was woken up to Bandito jumping on me an hour later, and decided to do some cleaning around the house. So at least I got somewhat productive again.

This daily blogging thing sure are making my blogs more boring :p But if I wasnt daily blogging than I may have not shared my oh so weak moment eh? Oh well, whats done is done. Tomorrow is a new day, and it will be a better day.. The weather is getting pretty brutal, which makes me uneasy for running in it. I think maybe I should consider something that covers my face a bit more. I feel like Im going to look like that scene in Dumb and Dumber, where they are riding the motorcycle in the freezing weather, and they have icicles on their face. lol

Ahhhh the chronicles of my entertaining life :) 2 more days till the weekend, can I get a WOOHOO! Hell yeah :)

Roller Skating - a fun workout!

Simplify gifts. Your loved ones probably feel just as overwhelmed about gifts as you do.Instead of buying for everyone, draw names from a hat or give to a charity in someone’s honor.

What a great tip! I tend to overdo Christmas, a lot. This year though Im trying to be financially smart. We chose to do secret santa in my family, so that narrows it down to 5 nieces and nephews, and 1 adult family member. When it use to be 14 people! And I opt out at work for secret santa. My friends and I that usually exchanged agreed no secret santa this year either. So I think this year defintey will be simplified. I also highly recommend giving to charity in someones honor. I dont know a better gift than that one!

So the scales been moving up and Ive been pretty bloated all week. Is it from all the fruit Ive been eating? Ive been eating more fruit than usual. I dont like it one bit though. I have been having trouble getting up for work in the morning as well. I have an appt with my endocrinologist tomorrow so hopefully we can see if my thyroid levels have dropped again. Well when I wake up late, I have to work late. Which sucks for not getting any workouts done outside. I tried the recommendation of interval training, but I think I need to work at it a bit more. I felt so unorganized and unsatisfied. Im think I just didnt feel like I was doing what I needed to do to get a sweaty workout. lol I think Ill research a bit more on different moves to do. But today the sun was shining and I had to get out in it, so I jetted home as fast and safely as I could. Threw on some workout clothes and went out for a jog. I only got 2 miles in before it got dark, but was pleased I got something in! Than I watched Intervention, (one of my top shows to watch), and than went roller skating afterwards :)

I havent been skating in YEARS! I use to go all the time when I was younger - speed skating, twirling, backwards skating, dancing on skates, etc. But its been a good 10 years since I even put skates on! My sister is having a hernia surgery on Thursday so the whole family headed out for a family skate night. My parents, 3 sisters, all the nieces and nephews, and one of my brother in laws made it to. How fun! My skates didnt fit from my younger years so I had to rent skates. They actually arent as bad as they use to be. They actually are skate-able. lol I have to say I didnt catch on as fast as I thought I would. But I was working up quite a sweat :) After about an hour I was grooving right along though. Although I was scared to do the cross over skate thing when I was turning. But I had some good speed going. :) My sister use to be an awesome skater when she was younger. She could do it all, star skater. Well it was great to see her doing her thing again. She has a disease where she has inflammation of her arteries, and she was on steroids for years. She gained a lot of weight with the steriods, and she tried everything and couldn't lose the weight. So she had gastric bypass this year. (I feel like Ive mentioned this before...if I did sorry!). For years she couldn't do anything. We went dancing before her surgery and she could dance one song and have to sit out. When we go now she dances for hours! And tonight was another great moment seeing her fly around that rink, turning around, backwards skating...it was just such a great site to see :)

Two great moments of the night. My brother in law said, Melissa you are looking great!!!! And said he wants to join me on a future 5k. Very cool :) And I think I mentioned before that my stepdad is adopting me, adult adoption. Well my niece said to me, Aunt Melissa...I cant wait until you are my true real aunt, you know legally. :)

Its been a nice night :)

To Splurge or Not To Splurge?

Splurge wisely. The holidays only come once a year, but the parties, events, and gifts of food never seem to end! Decide which ones are really worth splurging for, and leave the other foods on the table.

While I think this is a good tip, it might not be a good tip for everybody. Splurging wisely is not something you can just pick up, it definitely takes a lot of practice. It could be quite challenging, especially if your an emotional eater. And the holidays for some people can have lots of high and low times emotionally. But if you put a plan in place, and are in tune with your feelings than splurging wisely, or choosing not to splurge at all can be a great success. Of course we want to enjoy some of the food during the holidays, so having this tip in mind would be a good idea when those moments come across. But if we are having a down day, than not splurging at all would always be a great idea. Coming from an emotional eater ;)

This morning was our official weigh in for our December challenge. I have to admit I wasn't surprised by the jump on the scale. Yesterday I was a little out of control with some artichoke dip, and the peanut butter cookies my mom sent home with me. They are my favorite cookies. Maybe I needed to get that out of my system, or maybe I just cant have those cookies in the house :p, but thats was yesterday. And now its today. And I have 4 weeks to blow 2007 out of the park, and Im looking forward to seeing how this month pans out. I am thinking of running in the Arthritis 5k on December 15th. I know that will get me out running more than twice a week. And than Ill finish off the month with the NYE run :)

I asked for a Garmin Pedometer for Christmas. Its the one gift I really, really, really want. It will be great for 3 day training, and for jogging. Who would of thought I would ever be so excited to get a pedometer. Definitely not me a few years ago!

Well time to go finish up the laundry and off to bed. Last night I was tossing and turning all night. I think I may have only gotten 4 or 5 hours of sleep, so I have some catching up on my beauty rest to do. :)

Tip of the Day, Musicals, and Running

Day 2 Healthy Tip: Stay active. Don’t mistake being "busy" for being "active." You still need to exercise at least 30 minutes each day. Break it up into a few smaller sessions throughout the day if you're pressed for time.

Now this is a great tip. I have been so guilty plenty of times when I push being active to the side because Im on the go go go. Ill always do it tomorrow. But why not today? Today is actually better than tomorrow. So even when I feel that I dont have another minute in my schedule, I will take a closer look at where I can fit in 10 minutes here and 10 minutes there. Its may be a lower intensity workout, but nonetheless its a workout.

My weekend has been pretty pleasant. Hairspray was AWESOME! I absolutely loved it. The cast was absolutely amazing. In the movie there was some meh actors/actresses, but in this musical they all shined. The girl who played Penny actually was a little scene stealer, and it was her debut performance. That girl sang her lungs out! I really liked how they combined scenes from the original and the remake. I was a little disappointed in Detroit though. Although maybe the 8 o'clock crowd may have been more hyped. But at the end after they did their bows, they said come on Detroit, Dance! And the music started up and the actors danced. But there was maybe a handful dancing in the crowd. How could you not dance! I was practically jumping out of my seat :) I went with my friend Fran. Sorry to disappoint you, because I know you all were thinking Grant was some musical fanatic :p Fran is so cultural, and I love hanging out with her. She seems to always know of interesting things going on around town, and it gets me trying new things all the time. Its been hard transitioning my life to involve more sober social activities, and finding sober friends. My friendship with her has really been helpful :)

Last night we went to the bar to hear Claude VonStroke and it was such a great time. It was a little hot in there, so I think I may have sweated off some pounds! lol The music was good, and we danced the night away. A good night out was long overdue for Grant and I. So that was nice.

So as I was browsing a message board the other day I came across the question, Why do you run? This is an interesting question, and the responses I read were pretty consistent. So I asked myself, Mel why do you run? When I first started running I did it mainly for weight loss. I knew that it would help in that respect. I also did it to keep me focused, and its has succeeded my expectations on that as well! Its probably the hardest cardio Ive tried, and mainly thats because it is very psychological. So not only am I working on myself physically, Im also working on myself mentally. Those two things working together are amazing. I love when you see another runner out when your on your run, you bond in a way that your friends and family who are not runners could never understand. And that is simply by just nodding, waving, or smiling at another runner. Its such a connection. I also love running because I feel like an athlete, Ive never, ever felt like one in anything Ive did before and I even played sports in high school! lol I also love to run because everyone has always doubted me to do it. I have really bad knee problems, but my orthopedic surgeon said you can be a runner just like everyone else. He gave me tips and good information on how to go about it. And he was right, I can do this. I havent had one knee problem yet!

Even though Im still a novice runner, its difficult. I dont think it will ever get easier. And thats why I love doing it. Everytime Im done I feel accomplished. I thought walking 60 miles in 3 days felt awesome, but running is a whole different ballpark. Its kind of funny that sometimes when Im running Im think this is miserable. Just one race and you have proved your point. You have met your goal, you dont need to do this. But when Im done Im like that wasnt to bad. And the fact is, I do need to do this. I need to push myself, and running seems to be the one thing where I do push myself. I told Kristen last night that I want to run a half marathon. I said I dont know if I can do it, but I really want to do one. And this has been an ongoing debate in my head for the last few years. And debate no more, Im going to do one. If not in 2008, well than in 2009. But I will do one. I think it is one goal I really need to accomplish.

31 Days to Healthier Holidays

So I get daily emails from Spark People, and they are pretty informative sometimes. Little tidbits I never thought of. I got this email from Spark People the other day titled "31 days to healthier holidays." I thought what a great article! So to help me be more accountable in blogging every day, and to make this my best month yet Im going to post each day with the healthy tip of the day :)

"Take Inventory. Identify all the situations (office parties, mall food courts, family gatherings) that make it difficult for you to eat healthy during the holiday season. Make a plan for staying on track in every situation."

This is a really good tip. Prepare for all those holiday situations so I can succeed in each one, and not consume a bazillion calories. With all the family, work, and friend get togethers this month this may be a daily task for me!

I thought I was going to be able to sleep in today, but Bandito thought otherwise. So I was up at 8:30. Jen and I were going to walk but I wanted to sleep in, instead. I should of known that wasnt going to work out! lol So I shall go for a jog instead. Im pretty excited because this afternoon Im going to see the musical, Hairspray. This is my all time favorite musical. And this is going to be my first musical show. So I think Im in for a treat :) And tonight we are heading to the bar to see Claude VonStroke. Grant and I have been dying to hear some good live music lately, so I hope this fills that need :) We are having a little drama in our circle of friends, so I hope it doesnt get out of hand. I dont think it will. But theres a lot of hurt emotions going around, and well that can either end on a good note or bad note. Last night brought more clarity to me in regards to life, friends, etc. Life is to short and precious to harbor anger and hurt feelings inside. At some point, you just have to let things go. And I hope Grant can do that tonight. Enough about that, but this situation has been stressing me out. *sigh*

Last night I had my Lia Sophia fundraiser, and it went really well. I didnt think it would though! I invited about 35 people, and as of Wednesday night I had only 5 coming. Talk about a shitty turnout eh? I couldnt believe how many people canceled at the last minute or just wouldnt give me a concrete answer. I did start to let the negative talk come into place, and thought oh boy if this is what my fundraiser year is going to look like I have a long year ahead of me! But I quickly turned that thought around. If I have to do 20 fundraising events, so be it. I will make my goal of $4400 :) So the party started at 6:30, my first guest to arrive was at 7:05 and that was my mom and two sisters! lol Jens sister showed up shortly after that. And my neice, Monica, went to my house but the party was at Jens house. So she was a little late, but she brought a friend so yay to that! And than right after her was my coworker and her mother. So better turnout than I expected. So we got the party started a little over an hour later than planned. But thats all good :) We showed a video of opening ceremonies. A walkers husband made this DVD of opening ceremonies, closing ceremonies, pit stops, camp, cheering stations, the works. Its very cool, but very emotional..well for me. I try to watch it a couple times a month to get my 3 day fix. :) As I watched it all I could think of was Dawn, and tried to keep it together. The Lia Sophia advisor has breast cancer, and had a double mastectomy 4 weeks ago. So this event was special to her as well. Well the show went on, and in the end I ended up surpassing anything I thought I was going to! The party brought in almost $900 in sales :) I get 15% of that towards my fundraising goal. The advisor auctioned off a discontinued piece, and I made $50 off that to. I still have a few outside orders to get so may have potential to make a little bit more. A couple hundred bucks in my fundraising account for just having a girls night of fun, thats the best fundraising you can get :) It was a great jump start to my fundraising. Im really pleased with the outcome in regards to the attendance. Imagine if all those people would of actually came...I would of blown the sales away! One event down, many many more to go :) And on another great note, since I did over $600 in sales that qualifies me as an advisor. So Im good to go now! Woohoo! Show me the money :)

Heres a few pictures from last night:

This is Me, Pam, and Jen - (jens tree was amazing!)

Here is Me and Jen

And here is my mom, me, my two sisters Robin, and Kelly

My eating lately has been pretty decent, but theres always room for improvement. Im not gonig to indulge in anything this weekend. Ill make my trip to the fruit market, and restock my shelves with some healthy snacks. My workouts have been sporadic. But Im going to do some strength training after I post this, and than go out for a 3 mile jog. December, I own you. Im going to making a dent in these last 10 pounds this month. That I promise!

ETA: Just ran 3 miles in 29:46 - a week off made it TOUGH. But damn did it feel good when I was done :) Ill need to start increase my miles if Im going to finish the 4 mile race on NYE :)

Hello December!

Well November has been a weird month for me. There has been some high points and some low points. But I think Im ready for December. I love this time of year. I love Christmas. I love the decorations. I love the snow. I love sipping hot chocolate and staring at the Christmas tree all lit up. I love the music (yes Im a freak that LOVES Christmas music). I love the bonding. I love buying that special gift. I love spending time with family and friends. Its just such a great time of the year.

I can feel this Christmas is going to be more special than any others. Im just in totally different place than I have been in the past. Im so thankful for so many things in my life right now. I really love where I am right now. :) And this is the first Christmas Im not working in retail :p So I actually get to enjoy the holiday activities. :)

Along with Christmas comes the last month of the year. The last month to really give it my all in regards to fitness and nutrition. My last big umph before I go into the new year.

"The difference between try and triumph is just a little umph!"

With the results that Ive seen in the last 6 months, Im very excited to see how December pans out. November was a bit shaky, but I have confidence that Ill get right back to where I want to be in December. There are so many challenges in this month. So many chances to slip up. But this year that is not going to be my story. Im going to finish on top. Im not going to deprive myself, Ill indulge here and there, but I wont completely undo all the work Ive done up to this point. You have to enjoy the Holiday, but enjoy it moderately ;)

As the weather is getting colder, its getting harder to make myself get outside and workout. The wind has been pretty rough lately, and I havent been jogging as much as Id like. Im a little nervous about the race on NYE. I know if I layer enough Ill be fine, I just need to get myself out there. And I cant think of any better way to end my year than with a race. Its like the icing on the cake for me :)

I did get an offer from Bally's to come back for only $99 for a year. Im very tempted to take it. But remember how much I hate that place. But Im still debating it. It may be worth my while, especially when the ground gets snowy and icey.

These are just a few things on my mind tonight :)

My Holiday Weekend

So my holiday weekend went rather well. Well diet wise. I was sick all week so didnt go to work all week, and I think its a break I needed. I started off the Holiday with my turkey trot as I mentioned earlier, and was pleasantly surprised by the outcome of that :) We were going to Grants aunts house for Thanksgiving dinner a few hours after that. I love his family, so was excited to go spend time with them. And his dad sure was flying the compliments my way, which was quite flattering. :blush: I did fairly well with dinner, controlling my portion sizes, and had a small piece of banana pudding pie for desert. I definitely felt full and not stuffed, which was my plan. Grant and I decided to go catch a movie thanksgiving night, American Gangster, I highly recommend it. Awesome flick! And I love Densel Washington. I did indulged in a small popcorn there, and savored the flavor! heh

On Friday I was planning on just chilling around the house, maybe do a little house cleaning. Bandito promptly woke me up at his normal weekend time of 8am. Sleepy eyed I let him out and decided to check my email while I waited for him to do his business. I planned on jumping right back in bed. As I opened my email I noticed an email from my friend Dawn. And the subject said, Update. I was hesitant to open it. I met Dawn on the 3 day in 2004. She was a breast cancer survivor at that point, and shortly after our walk the cancer came back. She has been battling it for the last 3 years. Well I decided to open it and halfway through the email the tears started to stream down my face. Over the last month she hasn't been feeling to good, so went in to get some testing done. There has been more progression in her cancer, and her doctor informed her on Wednesday that "statistically speaking" she has 2 to 6 months. She will still continuing with chemo and will be starting radiation therapy, so she has not given up hope, but is also being realistic. Three years ago when she began this journey, she was given months to years, so she said she has had time and is still hopeful for more.

First my heart stopped. Than my heart jumped in my throat. Than I couldn't control my tears. Than all these emotions and words starting flying through my head. Sad, Angry, Mad, Hopeless, etc. All I can say is cancer sucks. It simply is not fair. I tried to go back to bed and just laid there sobbing in Grants arms. I just let it all out. I than decided I needed a well supported day to get through it. So headed to my parents house. My hometown was having their Thanksgiving parade and I decided to go to that with them. My mom called my sister and brother in law, and they met us up there. It was nice to have them there. I was pretty much in a daze the rest of the weekend. Trying to process everything. I talked to a friend that recently had a friend pass away of cancer and our chat was soothing. Today Im doing better. Cancer is such a horrible disease, and its so painful to see the ones you love fight it. All I can keep doing is praying for Dawn, and pray for the strength to be there for her when she needs me. God has his plan for Dawn, and while we all would love for her to be here with us and sometimes we dont understand his plan....we have to believe and trust in him. Dawn is so positive. I know it was just an email vs face to face, but in the email you can feel the strength Dawn has, and just how at peace she is with her mind and heart. She says sure it sucks, but this is what Im dealt. So the only thing I can do is what Ive done all along, stand by her as her friend and pray. Please keep Dawn and her family in your prayers and thoughts.

The rest of my weekend went pretty good. I had a tattoo consult on Saturday that went very very very well. Im so excited! This is my weight loss "reward". Im going to dedicate a separate post for that one though ;) And Sunday I got out for a jog, 3.5 miles. It felt good to be out jogging again but it was a little rough. And than I was pleasantly surprised this morning by finally breaking through 145. 144.5, but hey its the lowest Ive been yet! Ive been gaining and losing the same 5lbs all month! Im 3.5 pounds away from my November goal which I dont think will happen. So hopefully December is a better month. Actually, yes December will be a better month :)

A Long Overdue Turkey Trot Report

I have been wanting to get on here and blog about my very awesome Turkey Trot, but Thanksgiving day was busy busy, and on Friday I got some very sad, upsetting news, and well I havent been in the right state of mind since. Ill speak more on that in another post because I do need all of your prayers and support, but this post is strictly Turkey Trot business. It was such a wonderful experience and this post should be all wonderful.

With that being said..can I say 30:46!!!! Can you believe it?! Can I say how geeked I was?

As I mentioned before I was sick the last 4 days before the race, and even tried to go out for a jog on Wednesday and it was a disaster. My cold had moved into my chest, and when I jogged I could barely breath. I gave up after 1.5 miles and walked home. So I had no idea what would happen at the race. I was so anxious for the race the night before that I woke up probably every other hour through the night. Finally the alarm went off at 6am, and I popped out of bed. The drive there was pretty easy, but once I got off the freeway it was like a parking lot. I sat in traffic for about 40 minutes and I finally found a parking garage open. I chatted with Kristen and she was still stuck in traffic to, so I told her where Id be and met her there. I called Rob, and Jim and him were going to meet me in the lobby of the building the race started in front of. So I paced around the lobby for a little while and it was like 5 minutes before race time, and nobody. So I called Kristen, she had found Rob and Jim and they were calling me but I didnt get the call. My signal kept dropping. Go figure! So by that time there was so many people lined up to start the race that there was no way I could find them. :( So I told Kristen I would call them when we were done. I do have to admit, I was a little intimidated to jog with them. Damn my insecurities eh? But I still was pretty bummed that I couldnt find them, and wasnt going to be able to run with them. But I know there will be plenty of other races. It would of been nice to experience my first 5K with such supportive friends as Jim, Rob, and Kristen. Especially when I was having those pre-race jitters. :)

Anyhoo, well the race started and off I went, well not right away. It took me a few minutes to get past the start line. I kept a pretty good pace, starting off slow. It felt awesome to be passing people up. :) I got to the half way point and I was still feeling pretty good. Getting a little warm, but it was all good. I stripped off the gloves at this point, and the girl next to me said, did we pass the 2 mile mark yet? Please say yes. I laughed and said I think we are almost there. Shortly after that I got a little tired. But I said no walking. You can do this. Focused on some breathing and checked out the scenery along the way. People were all dressed up so it was quite amusing. And the people yelling, go runners!, made me smile :) (Wait, did they just call me a runner? Well yes I think they did. Melissa a runner...who would of thought?!) When I was almost to where the start line was...I got geeked, and even looked at the girl next to me and said...we are in the home stretch! Not quite. We had to loop around, go down a hill, and loop around again. But no problem. I crossed the line at somewhere around 32:00. But when I checked the website time it was really 34:04...so not sure what I was looking at! I knew that it took a few minutes to get across the start line so thought I may have come in around or a little above 30 minutes, and that made me feel real good. I cooled down a bit, went and grabbed some water and than found Kristen, Rob, and Jim. It took a few phone calls to find them though. Maybe I should of had on my bunny ears like on the 3 day. :)

Finally I found my FAT family. I thought, yay! Im no longer the lost little girl :) It was so great to meet Rob! You guys love Rob through his blog....wait till you meet him :) I love meeting people online. Its like you chat for so long, and when you finally get to meet each other its just so much more satisfying. I knew that meeting Rob (since I already met the Kristen and Jim) was definitely going to be anything but awkward. So when I saw Rob I gave him a hug and it felt like seeing an old friend. It felt the same way when I met Jim on the 3 day. And it was great to see Jim again, since we havent seen each other since the 3 day. By the way Jim, your not that far from me...maybe I should meet you for a mall walk sometime :) And of course I couldnt help but be giddy while I hugged Kristen, because we just ran our first 5k! If it wasnt for Kristen, who knows if I would of ever even thought of running a 5k! It was really nice to see these guys after my race, because they know the journey Ive been on, and I know the journey they have been on. We did great on this race, and all have done such great work in the last year. It was such a great feeling of unity. Congrats to Jim, Kristen, and Rob...you guys rock! I hope that us FAT Michiganders can get together more often. And one day all of us FAT members get to meet!

Can I just say it again....30:46!!!!!! WOOOOHOOOO! Better than I ever imagined Id do, especially with feeling sick. To think 7 weeks ago I could barely jog 60 seconds, and now I can run a full 5k in almost 30 minutes! Go Me :)

There is a run on NYE, a 4 mile. Im so signing up and think that Kristen, Rob, and Jim may as well. Maybe Ill get to actually run that one with them :)

Heres pictures although you may have already seen them.




Another goal to mark off on my list. And time to add a few more :) I cant express how thankful I am for this group. Im doing things I never imagined I could do. Its simply amazing.

Hope to post later today...

Ive come down with a sinus infection/headcold that is majorly kicking my ass. I just got back from the doctors and got some meds, and going to try to get some more sleep.

Hope to post more last today.

Sick before my first 5k. Can I say how bummed I am? :(

Deep Breath In, Deep Breath Out - Anger Released

I have always been bad at separating my work life from my personal life. While I have improved I still struggle with it. My previous job I worked for was a very shady company and the stress it caused me was extreme. It caused quite a strain on my home life. With some therapy, I learned to separate the two, and also realized I needed to get a new job. lol

But I have slipped back into letting my job stress spill over into my personal life. And that really angers me. A lot. So at this very moment I take a deep breath in. deep breath out. And anger begone. If it was really that easy right?

I need to separate the anger from work and home, and leave it simply at work. I will not let the things I cant control at work determine how the rest of my life plays out. No way. With that being said, I am now going to post some happy, positive thoughts. Things that will change my mood from anger to simply thinking...well work woes...its just sad. And its not going to control my mood or actions!

• I cant wait to get home and play with my dogs, I love those animals so much! Bandito is so cute. He curls his lip up like Elvis when hes concentrating really hard. It is the cutest thing! Something even cuter is he curls up to Vinyl and they spoon. I melt inside when I see it :) Vinyl is quite the moaner. You make a noise and she starts moaning at you, like shes singing in the opera. Dont you just love how animals make your life so much more enjoyable :)

• Tonight I am going to release some stress by hanging out with a friend. We are going to check out her friends band, indie rock. I LOVE indie rock. And I love Frannie! So I think this is a perfect time to also have a night to release. Dance some of my anger/stress away.

• In two weeks my stepdad and I are going to file the adoption papers. He is legally going to be my father. Im hoping the process is complete before the end of the year, and that is the best Christmas present I can ask for! He has been my dad for the last 17 years and I couldnt ask for a better one!

• After work my jog is going to rock. When I get like this, what better way to release some of the emotions than through a sweaty workout. Those workouts that when you finish, your like damn...now that was a workout.

• Even though sometimes I feel like life is hard with to all the obstacles Im facing, with past and present experiences, I really do value the work Ive done on my self esteem. I can confidently say that I do love myself physically in certain areas. I have the cutest button nose. I have two strong facial features that I use to hate as a child. High cheekbones, and freckles! My freckles are very sexy :) I do have two things that have been altered, but are also quite pleasant. My butt has seem so very ugly days, but lately its seeing very happy ones. I love to show it off now :p Grant seems to take to it as well since he says, buns come get dinner. Buns can you come here. Hey buns! lol And my boobs are freaking fantastic. Earlier this year I had a breast reduction and it was seriously thee best thing I could ever do for myself. 1100 grams removed, back and neck pain gone, and I can jog without getting a black eye! SCORE! My cleavage now doesnt appear to want to swallow someone. :)

More than you wanted to know eh? But guess what....my anger is completely gone now. Im grinning, and feeling quite upbeat. Ha!

Melissa - 1 Anger - 0

:)

P.S. A BIG thank you to all of your comments on my last post. I so did not want to post those picture but your comments made the embarassment a little easier. I couldnt do the last 20 lbs without all of you. So THANK YOU F.A.T! XOXOXOX

P.S.S. I was trying to talk my friend April into joining FAT. Im so proud of her for commiting to the healthy lifestyle journey. April, I promise we wont bite! Love ya girl! :)

Progress Update

Today I have been re-assessing my goals and trying to figuring out exactly what I want. Sure I want to reach that "goal weight" I originally set out, but what do I want to do also in regards to health. As I took measurements and pictures I do see a difference, but also see I have a long way to go. It helped put in to perspective that getting the weight off is one thing, but getting the physical results I want is a whole new ballpark. When I started off this journey, I just wanted to be able to exercise and not feel like I was going to die. I wanted to feel physically fit. Its weird when you first start off this transition to a new healthy lifestyle, you think geez it would be great if I can do 15 minutes of exercise. And just drop some pounds. But when you get into it, you realize you have potential for so much more. I would consider myself fit now. Not extreme fit, but definitely in an average range of where I should be. Now that I know that I have that potential I think I need to transition to the next level. Its obvious I can do cardio by now. But what good is cardio if Im not building muscle. I want to feel my cardio and strength training are on equal grounds..unlike now where cardio is the superior. So that next level is strengthening, toning, and decreasing body fat percentage. I have been doing some toning and strengthening but really just the bare minimum. Mostly because Im so lost on this subject. Muscles are nice, and I want them. (Although I do have to say my legs are looking mighty fantastic these days with the 3 day training and the jogging. :) )

I am going on a trip to Tampa in February with a bunch of girlfriends. We all met when I lost weight the first time on www.ediets.com, we have kept in contact for about 4 years. We have our own private forum that we keep in touch on. Yearly we have a "reunion" at one of the girls hometown(all of us live in different states.) So this year is Tampa. When we all met we decided to call ourselves the "bikini babes", since we all wanted to feel confident in a bikini. So you bet that we all are going to be living up to that title in Tampa. So my goal for that is February 29th. Im trying to set new goals that aren't weight loss related that will have me in that confident presence on this trip. This whole other side of working out is relatively new to me, so still unsure of how to set those goals.

Well I took some measurements and pictures tonight and figured Id do an update post.

August 2, 2007/November 13, 2007

Weight: 162/145
Size: 12/10
Waist: 37/34-1/2
Hips: 39/38-1/2
Chest: 36/35
Thigh: 26/23
Arm: 12/12

And I cant believe Im posting these pictures but here I go.

*big gulp*

Getting Closer and Closer

To my goal! I am now 10 pounds away from my goal. I cant explain how this feels! Even though Im so close now, I have to stay focused. 10 pounds is 10 pounds, and Im sure it will not be any easier than the first 30!

The rest of my weekend was pretty good, minus one thing but that wasn't diet or exercise related. I took Saturday off from working out, and hung out with my parents all day. I tend to eat not so great with them, and we ate lunch at a Coney Island. I got a burger, but it was really good and I didnt stress over it. On Sunday I finished off my week with another 2 mile jog. My eating was pretty much on key this day. I found out on Friday evening that Gregs mom passed away. Greg was the friend from the 3 day I mentioned a few weeks back. She lost her fight with Breast Cancer. So Jen and I headed up to the funeral home Sunday afternoon. Greg was holding up pretty good but his daughter wasnt doing so great :( Betty sure did give Cancer a run for their money, and Im glad shes not in pain anymore. Damn I hate cancer.

Yesterday I started off another week of jogging with upping my mileage to 2.5. This turkey trot is in 9 days so figure 1/2 mile increase over 1/4 mile is probably better. I surprised myself yesterday as I seem to be doing with all this jogging. I managed 2.5 miles in 29:50 minutes. My first 1.25 miles was 14:50, and my second 1.25 mile was 15:00. Overrall I felt it went pretty well. I finally got my side stitch situation solved. Exhale on every left step. It worked wonders! Now if I can finally implement listening to music I think Ill enjoy it more. When I listen to music it throws off my breathing. The weather last night was beautiful, and today looks like another beautiful day. I headed into work earlier so I can get home and do my strength training before my jog...hopefully I have enough time before it gets dark.

So last night I did something I told myself I wouldnt do. I signed up to be a Lia Sophia advisor. I can see Beck cringing now. lol Lia Sophia is fashion jewelry if you didnt know. I love their jewelry and if nothing works out with it I at least get the stuff 70% off. Score! But this is the second party Ive been to in a month and the job sounded more and more intriguing. So last night I bombarded the advisor at the party with tons of questions, and it seems it works. The jewelry really does sell itself, and when people hear the discount they get when booking a party they cant pass it up. Even if I do just 2 shows a week, which is like 3 hours a show...I should make minimum $150 a week. Hey that can be up to $600 a month. And thats the minimum. We sure could use that extra cash. So I jumped on the wagon. Im having a Lia Sophia fundraiser at the end of the month so thats going to be my qualifying show to get started. I hope it works out for me.

Anyhoo....so 10 pounds. Thats 5lbs this month and next month....thats doable. :)

ETA: How do you guys set your goals? I aimed for 2lbs a week and well never meet them by the end of the month. Most of you meet yours early, and I just wondered if Im off somewhere. Although 2lbs does seem a good amount per week to me. I think Ill edit my goals to evenly lose the remaining weight in two months.

Taking Back Control

Well I am happy to say I have officially broke through the horrible week I was having. I am refocused, and it feels great :)

First let me tell you about the last day I had of that downwards spiral...where I had to say Melissa this is enough! It was Thursday and I was in a not so pleasant mood I suppose. I started off my day with oatmeal and a banana but that was the only good part of the day. Lunch consisted of chicken fingers and fries dipped in mayo. Than I hit up the vending machine mid afternoon for some junior mints. On my way home I stopped at McDonalds and got a double cheeseburger meal. An hour later I ate a bowl of cereal. And than Grant came home and is like I want Tubbys for dinner, and I said..so do I!So than I got a chicken and cheddar sub. Geez, you think I would of exploded at that point.

Yeah. After that night I said enough is enough. Seriously. So I started off Friday morning tipping the scale at 149. Almost to the 150's. A place I didnt want to visit again. I made better choices on Friday, not all good choice but better. I controlled my portion sizes, and learned to say no again. There was an afternoon break where my two coworkers literally raided the vending machine and I said Ill just fill this water bottle. And for dinner we got pizza, but I had two pieces (the smallest I could find), and went back for one more. But stared at it for a few minutes and than said to myself..your full you can feel it. Said to Grant, take this I cant eat it. I also topped my day off with a 2 mile jog and my strength training workout. And the scale dropped tremendously to 166.5 this morning. I read a comment that said the best motivation is to see that scale drop. And boy is that the truth. Watch out Im back :)

My workout yesterday...well it was rough. I went out to the track to get my jog on. I have to make sure I get out there early since its dark by 5. Good thing I get off at 3:30 from work. I started out my jog and at 1/2 mile I felt like I was going to keel over. It just felt like one of those days when this workout is going to suck. But I pushed through it. I really talk my way through the whole thing..just one more time melis..you can do this. Think of how you will feel! So I finished 2 miles in 22:40. Better time than my last! I was really fighting side stitches through this entire jog, and I read about the breathing and things to do...it helps but they were there every other 1/4 mile. When I was done.....I felt like I was on top of the world. I never got that workout high before in all the years Ive worked out. Never. But I had that high when I was done today. Boy was I missing out! I than came home and did my strength training and really pushed myself through it. I was tired from the jog, and everything seemed a bit harder. But Im gald I did.

Today Im going to go back out for another jog, and than Im heading over to my parents. We are going to a Pow-Wow by their house. Did I ever mention Im half native american? My mom is full blooded Mohawk. Our tribe is from Canada and Buffalo, NY area. I haven't been to a Pow-Wow in years so Im looking forward to it.

Stay strong through the weekend F.A.T!

On a side note...

Tell me your thoughts on this shirt. Im thinking of getting some printed and selling as a fundraiser. Obviously its more of a girly girl shirt. Im thinking maybe even a fitted tshirt. Ill may come up with a few designs but this is the one I was working on last year but never folllowed through with it.




P.S. Dont forget to check out the blog below ;)

Obstacles

Truth is, obstacles are always going to be there. Its how we decide what to do with them that matters. And Im still letting these obstacles control my behavior. I cant figure out why for the life of me. But Im tired of it. I need to regain control. I have a reward set out for when I reach my weight loss goal, and Im hoping this will kick some motivation into my butt!

Its basically just my food that Im having issues with. Im still working out regular. On Tuesday I even started a new strength training workout. And Im still feeling the pain today! Yesterday I went out jogging and I didnt know how Id do since I could barely walk. :p The first half mile was rough, I could feel every ache vibrate through my legs and butt as my feet hit the ground. But it subsided shortly after that. I managed a 12:20 minute mile for two miles. :) When I was done..oh boy, I was more sore than when I started. My legs felt like jello and my muscles were screaming at me! So the 2 miles I did on Sunday..it wasnt a fluke. lol I think Im finally connecting the mental part of jogging to the physical. And when Im mentally focused I can go further than I think ;) But not to worry, Im still only increasing my miles a little each week. I figure Ill keep my 2 miles this week, strive for 1/4 or 1/5 more next week, and the week after, and maybe Ill finish this 5k without walking :)

Back to my food issue though. Seriously lately Ive been eating fried this, white carb that. Its like you have a choice Melissa, so chose the right one. I know its making me sluggish but Im still doing it. I know a lot of my personal life is affecting the way I eat, and I need to learn to roll with those punches. Its a lot easier said than done I suppose. But each time is a new learning experience. I have gained some clarity in the last few days over this personal issue, and feel better today than I have all week. Im hoping this will roll over into my food area as well. I think I may set a mini reward for this month to, to help push my motivation. Becase sadly Im almost creeping back into the 150's.

Willpower

Its been to long, dont you think? Ive been lazy thats all. I always have good intentions to blogging at night and it never quite happens. And when I dont blog well wouldn't you know...my diet/exercise isnt exactly in the all star league. Ive been lingering around 147-148.5 for the last week. While I have been keeping up with my workouts, my food has slipped here and there. Its like some days my will power is just out the window. Like listen to this.

On Saturday I went out walking with my friend Jen. We did 9 miles. Well I also was suppose to do one of my jogging days and figured Id just go out and do it after my walk. So I went as far as I could, 1 mile. On my way home, I start craving a donut. I drove towards Dunkin Donuts and tried to talk myself out of it, but it wasnt working. I even got into the drivethru, called Grant to see if he wanted to get something to eat, but he just ate. So through the drive thru I went. Willpower Melissa...willpower. Where did it go? I shamefully stuffed that donut in my mouth. And candy...I seem to crave candy a little to much lately. Its like right when I got that taste of sugar it took over me.

Well I didnt lose 27lbs to go right back to those horrible eating ways. So willpower you are coming back. Whether you like it or not! I have 12 pounds to my goal and I really would like to make that by Christmas. So I have to get it together!

Some highlights and lowlights (which may have caused some of my stress/emotional eating) of my time not blogging...

• I ran 2 miles in 20 minutes on Saturday
• I have realized that it will take me at least 4 perhaps 5 more years to graduate
• My brother has once again struck my moms heart and left me to pick up the pieces
• We finally got our washer and dryer hooked up! Goodbye laundrymat!
• We visited Grants family last weekend and his stepmom gave me quite the compliments on how great Im looking. I blushed. lol
• It was Banditos birthday on Friday - he is now two years old
  

And I will end this blog with some pictures of my baby boy when we first brought him home, and now two years later :)