Dreams

Do you ever have those dreams that feel like they are screaming a message out at you? I just had one. I laid down to take a nap, and had a really amazing dream.

While the dream did consist of this guy trying to win my heart, I feel there was another message to be had. Although having someone romanticize over me was a nice side message to :p

I was taking classes at a college, and everyday after class I was taking the long route to my next class. It was like 3-4 miles. Id always run into this guy who was on crutches. He was very athletic and something happened that he was on crutches during the whole dream, which took place over a 5 year span. We became friends, and always walked to our next class together. Well he was from a different race and for some reason it was like the dream took place back in the 60's. And when he asked his parents for advice on approaching me to ask me out they were dead set against it. Anyways he still felt so strong that he wanted to approach me to ask me out. So he made this video to show me, to sort of ask me out. But the day he was going to give it to me, we missed each other. His parents even showed up on campus trying to re-route us so we would miss each other. (the whole parents thing is weird..felt so after school special-ish) So he had a few friends chase me down and they played the video for me. The first half of the video basically talked about how he was looking for someone he could connect with, that had the same interests as him, and showed some clips of girls that were just after him for all the wrong reasons. Than went in about being athletic, motivated, and committed. It had clips of me...walking, laughing, us having lunch together a few times, and generally just happy pictures of me. And than flashed different words on how good it made him feel to be around me. Than it went into this part about how everyone around town (apparently we were in a small town) also noticed how awesome I am. (okay I'm getting a little self centered..but hey it was MY dream) It had interviews of small business owners, and neighbors who just were amazed by my dedication to the 3 day and community. Than in the middle of the video I woke up!

Don't you hate that?

And when I first woke up I felt guilty about the romantic side of the dream, and guilty of the butterfly feeling it gave me...but I also saw the other side. Ive been struggling with being happy with myself lately due to stress, struggling with finding how to getting back to a healthy weight, and being fit....and think it was sort of an eye opener that I'm headed on the right track and can be that person I want to be. As long as I stay focused I am that person. Its like I saw me from someones point of view. Maybe it was an illusion, it was just a dream, but for once in my life I saw the happy, content, ATHLETIC (did I really just saw athletic? you bet I did!) person I can be.

I have a feeling my chat with Kristen earlier today had something to do with having this dream. We were just talking about losing weight, becoming fit, etc. Its so nice to finally have found a friend that I can relate to about this whole becoming fit lifestyle. Ive struggled with a lot of issues over the past few years and have made huge progress in my life emotionally/mentally. I really think Im at a place now where I can put my head full force into this. Its like before I always yo-yo'd with weight issues because I was using it to mask other issues in my life. Which relates to Billy's blog the other day to. You really have to work on yourself inside and out. And while I have worked on the inside, I think Im finally ready for the outside to do some catching up. I know I have so much more to work on in the inside, but time to let the outside shine a bit to :)

I know I'm a big cheese ball sometimes, but everyone needs a little cheese in their life from time to time. :)