Its crazy how my last post was so uplifting, and I felt so positive. Than the very next day I found out some sad news and I had a total 180 in the emotion department. I got the sad news that Dawn passed away Monday night. For the last 4-5 days she was in and out, awake minimal of the time. Her breathing was getting difficult as well. She stopped eating and drinking about two days before Monday. On Monday she was barely awake, and than took one last deep breath and was gone. Rosemary (her SIL) said she looked very peaceful, especially after what they saw her going through for the last week. Everyone was by her side on Monday. Im glad she is no longer suffering, but its so hard. And feels so unfair that shes gone.
When I heard the news I just felt numb. Actually its felt pretty numb since than. No matter what the circumstances are....you never truly are prepared for this. I will be heading to the viewing tomorrow night. My mom and Bob are meeting me up there, as well as my 3 day friends. And than Saturday we have the funeral. I also have a Lia Sophia party Im doing Saturday afternoon so had a little drama trying to work that out. But I got the party moved to a later time, so everything is going to work out.
Unfortunately I havent really gotten any workouts in this week except for that run on Sunday. The weather is really making things difficult. So I looked into a few options, and think Im going to go get a 2 month membership at the Community Center. That will take me right up to the half marathon, so I think that will be the best plan. Ill be able to get workouts in when running outside is not the best idea due to snow, ice, darkness, etc. Its $38 for a two month pass, so not to bad. I need to do something because this coming home and not being able to go out...and than doing nothing has to stop. And I really do want to run this half. So I need to get it together.
As Ive mentioned before I have quite the emotional eating issue. Ive been managing it okay this week, but did have a few slip ups. Like the other day someone told me I was looking tiny. Im so not tiny. But I took that as a sign to go eat cheese fries. Geez whats going on in my head eh? So Ive been having a few slip ups.
I do have something positive. This past weekend I was in an organizing/cleaning mood. So I cleaned out my closet and purged all my old fat clothes. I found my favorite pair of jeans that I wore when I was at my highest weight, which was a size 16. I tried them on and took a picture. I had to. So here it is....dont mind my armpit fat. :p
So while I have struggled with these last 10 pounds, I have made quite the progress. I think once I get going on this running program more consistently these last 1o pounds will come off. I need to get there mentally. Only I can do that. People can talk to me till their blue in the face, but I have to recommit to myself to get there. I hope I can get there. Actually I know I can. I just need to remember why I started this journey, and what I want out of this. Re-evaluate myself. Set new goals. Keep things interesting.
Please keep Dawn's family in your prayers. She is already deeply missed.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Emotional Rollercoaster
Posted by Melissa at 9:29 PM
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7 comments:
Wow, very sad. I'll be thinking about you.
As for those jeans, that's a great pic! I notice that ab line there, even if you pointed directly to the "armpit fat" which I couldn't see.
I understand about those last ten pounds and the emotional eating. I'm noticing myself doing that too. Here's to recommitting!
Sorry to hear this news Melissa.
Keep pushing forward.
Sorry about the sad news.
I am struggling too, I can't seem to shake this cold, my last work out was on Friday! I've tried but the stuffiness and shortness of breathe makes it hard.
Take heart these things happen but you just have to keep moving forward and keep your eyes on the goal.
So sorry to hear about your friend. She sounded like a wonderful women who touched many peoples lives. I am sure the world is a better place because of her.
Great pic, really shows where you came from. I don't see any armpit fat either ;).
Get that two month pass. A half marathon is a long distance and you need to be training.
Mel.. so sorry to hear about this. When I called you last night to get Jenn's number, I thought that you sounded pretty down. I wanted to ask if you were OK at the time, but didn't want to be nosy.
If there's anything I can do, just let me know. Give Dawn's family our best..
I'm sorry for your loss, Melissa. I know how sad it is to lose a loved one to cancer. This is why we walk though, Mel, and all you can do is dedicate this year's three day to her. I'll see you out there.
my condolences Melissa.
As for the pic, thats awesome. That should have been a great motivator for ya.
Take care.
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