Why Cant I Bring It?

Seriously. Ive been feeling this way for awhile. Its like no matter how pumped I get myself I never reach that level where Im bringing it. Its always mediocre. Im a mediocre person and feel like I always will be. I could never be someone who eats a strict diet, or someone that religiously works out. Its frustrating because Id like to be. I just don't have it in me for some reason. Ill have a good few weeks and than Ill have a bad few weeks. Its like I always find excuses. I always hit roadblocks. I work through them, but it always feels like a constant struggle. Like most things in my life. Why cant I just be good at this? Why cant I bring it?

Now I guess the thing I should be doing is not questioning it, but finding ways to do it. Ive tried many things and none of them have worked. So I honestly dont know what to do. I can keep doing what Im doing, but that obviously isnt making me happy or seeing any results. As I end January I lost 4lbs, but still the same that I was back at Thanksgiving. What a shame. What a waste of time.

This is not meant to be a pity party. These thoughts have been on my mind and I need to get them out. Im starting to accept where Im at, and its not acceptable. Its not the goal I intended when this journey started, and Im defintely not at a fitness level I want to be. It also scares me that Im going to yo yo right back up to the weight I started with if I don't change my mind thinking now. I question myself often, can I even maintain this lifestyle? Ive been eating fast food like its going out of style. Its easy so I eat it. I actually went a good 7-8 months eating NO fast food. Im doing things to sabatoge me, and really dont think twice about it. I see myself replaying old habits, and that is pretty scary.

I believe Im probably having these thoughts because of my emotional state lately. My emotions have been all over the place. And a once starting to become confident Melissa, as now turned into a very doubtful, unconfident Melissa. I just wish I could find that drive that I know I have. I have shown that drive in many things, especially with the Breast Cancer 3 Day. So I know its in there. Figuring out how to bring it out is the hard part.

Dont Think, Just Act

That is what I did today. And I finally did something after a week long hiatus. Im over thinking everything all the time. Its kinda of annoying actually. Yesterday and today Ive felt pretty down, and I dont think I got out of the recliner at all yesterday. I knew that doing something today would only help me out in the emotion department. No matter what it was as long as it was something. And since the weather is warm today, I figured I myswell enjoy it while its here. So I went for a jog when I got home. The snow is half melted so it was pretty slushy, but I stomped through it. It was quite a struggle but I finished 2 miles before dark. Its better than nothing. I have found out that Monday as a rest day is bad news. I need to start my week off doing something or I end up doing nothing!

The funeral was on Saturday. There was hard parts through the mass, but I got through it. I'm so lucky to have Grant. He knew exactly when to squeeze my hand, and put is arm around me. That helped a lot. I opted out for the reception..I just wasnt feeling up to it. And I had to get in the right mind frame for my Lia Sophia party I had to do later that afternoon. (which was my biggest party in sales yet!) I think I actually was more depressed Sunday than I was any other day last week. Im just going through the grieving process I suppose. At the funeral the priest read a scripture that related to Dawns life, and how she always lived life to the fullest, touched so many lives, and always made sure everyone was okay before worrying about herself. And he said one thing that stuck with me, we have a big mission to full after we are done grieving. A mission Dawn did every day. He sure is right. Breast Cancer 3 Day....here I come. Jen and I bought our Boston flights, so its official :)

I miss Dawn so much already. Shes with me in spirit, watching over me. I can feel it.

Thank you everyone for your support. It really has meant a lot to me. XO

Well Im off to watch Jim and Rob sweat over a grill for a fundraiser, and enjoy me some stirfry. Ill take a pic of them :)

Emotional Rollercoaster

Its crazy how my last post was so uplifting, and I felt so positive. Than the very next day I found out some sad news and I had a total 180 in the emotion department. I got the sad news that Dawn passed away Monday night. For the last 4-5 days she was in and out, awake minimal of the time. Her breathing was getting difficult as well. She stopped eating and drinking about two days before Monday. On Monday she was barely awake, and than took one last deep breath and was gone. Rosemary (her SIL) said she looked very peaceful, especially after what they saw her going through for the last week. Everyone was by her side on Monday. Im glad she is no longer suffering, but its so hard. And feels so unfair that shes gone.

When I heard the news I just felt numb. Actually its felt pretty numb since than. No matter what the circumstances are....you never truly are prepared for this. I will be heading to the viewing tomorrow night. My mom and Bob are meeting me up there, as well as my 3 day friends. And than Saturday we have the funeral. I also have a Lia Sophia party Im doing Saturday afternoon so had a little drama trying to work that out. But I got the party moved to a later time, so everything is going to work out.

Unfortunately I havent really gotten any workouts in this week except for that run on Sunday. The weather is really making things difficult. So I looked into a few options, and think Im going to go get a 2 month membership at the Community Center. That will take me right up to the half marathon, so I think that will be the best plan. Ill be able to get workouts in when running outside is not the best idea due to snow, ice, darkness, etc. Its $38 for a two month pass, so not to bad. I need to do something because this coming home and not being able to go out...and than doing nothing has to stop. And I really do want to run this half. So I need to get it together.

As Ive mentioned before I have quite the emotional eating issue. Ive been managing it okay this week, but did have a few slip ups. Like the other day someone told me I was looking tiny. Im so not tiny. But I took that as a sign to go eat cheese fries. Geez whats going on in my head eh? So Ive been having a few slip ups.

I do have something positive. This past weekend I was in an organizing/cleaning mood. So I cleaned out my closet and purged all my old fat clothes. I found my favorite pair of jeans that I wore when I was at my highest weight, which was a size 16. I tried them on and took a picture. I had to. So here it is....dont mind my armpit fat. :p


So while I have struggled with these last 10 pounds, I have made quite the progress. I think once I get going on this running program more consistently these last 1o pounds will come off. I need to get there mentally. Only I can do that. People can talk to me till their blue in the face, but I have to recommit to myself to get there. I hope I can get there. Actually I know I can. I just need to remember why I started this journey, and what I want out of this. Re-evaluate myself. Set new goals. Keep things interesting.

Please keep Dawn's family in your prayers. She is already deeply missed.

Too Cold to Exercise? Try Another Excuse

That was the question I asked myself this morning. So what did I do? What I do best. I googled it. :P And I found an article, Too Cold to Exercise? Try Another Excuse by Gina Kolata

http://www.theledger.com/article/20080117/ZNYT04/801170508/-1/USNEWS

While reading this article, and with the new inspiration and motivation that has kicked in this weekend (more on that in a bit), I started to dress for my run. It is a cold 8 degrees, and with the windchill I'm sure it feels close to 0 or -1 degree. But its all good. I did a 5 minute power walk warm up (the coldest part), and than started my run. It did take a good mile to get warmed up. But 10 minutes later I thought to myself...8 degrees? Hm. It feels like 40. :) It was a nice run where I was in a zone, and 4 miles felt great.

This weekend I had a Lia Sophia workshop/rally on Friday and Saturday. It was amazing. Very, very motivating and inspirational. Our theme at this rally, was Raise the Roof - Our motto for 2008. :) Aside from hearing from people in the company, there was also a motivational speaker, Brian Molitor. First I love motivational speakers, and try to go hear them as much as I can. This guy was one of the best I have heard! He has written a few books, and training programs on organizational development, problem solving, leadership coaching, team building, and strategic planning. Amazing Man. And than we heard another moving seminar by our Zone Managers, a husband/wife team. Having those three in one day was mind blowing! I'm glad I decided to go to this because it put a spark right back in me. Not just a spark for my Lia Sophia business, but it also sparked all other areas of my life. I feel rejuvenated, and ready to conquer the world. The last few months have really been off and on. On a few weeks, off a few weeks, repeat. This weekend was just what I needed.

So here comes the cheesy part of my entry today. So while on my run today, my mind was still processing all the things I heard yesterday at the rally, and what I want to do in the upcoming weeks for the year...and Madonna's - Ray of Light came on my ipod. And I heard a certain lyric that sounded different than I ever heard it before. (this made me thing of Gene.) It said this,

And I feel like I just got home
And I feel
And I feel like I just got home
And I feel

Faster than the speeding light she's flying
Trying to remember where it all began
She's got herself a little piece of heaven
Waiting for the time when Earth shall be as one

And that really hit me. That is how I feel. Good things are to come in the future, and Ive found my way back home :)

I pushed up my speed, smiled as the snow hit my face, and sang the lyrics. It felt great. :)

Insert Snazzy Title Here

So its been a week since I last posted. Where as the time gone? Well Ive had a rough week to say the least. But no use on dwelling on what coulda, shoulda, woulda been. I did manage to lose a 1/2 pound this week which is a freaking miracle if you ask me.

We went out of town last weekend to visit some friends in Indiana. Im horrible when I go out of town. Its something I need to work on. So I had very little will power with the food and the beer. Ive also been experiencing the fatigued to the hundredth power symptoms of my thyroid disease. I definitely think the meds need to be adjusted again. So Ive been giving in to many, many naps. Which than leads to not being able to go to bed at a decent time, and than wake up late for work, and than get home when its dark. So very little running has been going on. Its a vicious cycle sometimes. I need to get a grip. Like right now.

I also had the pleasant experience of food poisoning for the last two days. Thats probably why I managed to lose 1/2 pound. LOL Seriously, it was not fun. I felt like I was being punished for my bad behavior or lack of good behavior!

Anyways...nothing to exciting in my world. Just hit a week long slump, and hoping to climb back out of it. My schedule definitely is getting busy between the two jobs, so right now I need to gain control back before it gets to out of control.

Ive mentioned before how Im getting a tattoo, a half sleeve :) Its sort of a reward for changing my healthy lifestyle, but mostly a mark in all the growing Ive done in the last year. That is on February 7th. I will be in the 130's at that appt. No ifs, ands, or buts.

Smaller Sizes Boosts Confidence

Well today has been a pretty fantastic day if I do say so myself. First I woke up with a very nice weigh in - 4lbs down. I am now only 1 pound away from what I weighed before the holidays. I do have to say that started off my day on a very good note.

I got into work early since I went to bed at 8:30 last night. I needed to catch up on some sleep, so it was nice. So into work early, means out of work early. Which was good since I had a hair appt at 5. So I had just enough time to squeeze in my run. The wind was a bit of a challenge today, but it was a short run day so it was all good. So while enjoying my runners high, I went and got pampered at the salon, and now my hair is feeling as healthy as the rest of me :)

On the way home I had to stop and pick up some new shoes since Bandito ate my only black heels the other night. Im not even going to go into that story. And the shoe store is in a strip mall, so I decided to stop into TJMaxx. Its going out of business, so everything was marked down and than 60 percent off. Hot damn, it was like hitting the jackpot. Sort of. The 45 minute wait in line wasnt so great. :p But as I was digging through the racks, I fell upon lots of size 8's, and not many size 10's. So I figured what the heck, and threw them in the basket. Off to the fitting room I went. I tried the 8's first so if they didnt fit I wouldnt be disappointed because I had other pants that would fit after them. Its all a mind game. I tried on one pair of 8's and they fit like a glove! I instantly thought..this is TJMaxx so dont get to excited Melis. Well than I tried on a pair jeans that were a size 8. Those fit to! They were to long, but they fit! And every 8 I tried on after that fit as well. I am in a size 8 :) First goal to mark off for the year.

Don't you just love that feeling when you try on a smaller size, check yourself out in the mirror, and think Damn...you look good girl! or is that just me? lol

My confidence is definitely rising, which feels very, very nice :)

Back to the Basics

So when I weighed in at the end of the month in December I broke even at 146. I was fine with that. But how in the hell did I jump from 146 to 149 from Monday to Thursday? Ridlicious. I was eating a little better than I did over the holidays, but I think a lot of it was mindless eating. I wasnt really paying attention to what I was putting in my mouth. Oh Im bored, Ill eat this. Or oh Ill snack on this. So I decided to start tracking my calories again. I hate this daunting task but it is the one thing that is black and white, nothing like that number staring back at you yelling, I told you so.

Its kind of interesting to see that I would go grab something to eat and than think, I have to log this....and put it right back. So it has helped me be more conscious of what Im putting in my mouth. And the scale is moving right back down. Amazing eh? Not really...its not rocket science :p It really is a numbers game.

So last night when I got home I took a nap. I havent been sleeping very well at night. Going to bed later than planned, waking up late, mind not shutting off when I go to bed, etc. So Ive been dragging ass all week. I got home later than usual yesterday from work so it was dark out when I got home. I decided to do cross training instead of a jog. I put in the Jillian DVD I got for Christmas. I was able to do a few more counts in the reps than I could last time. Its a circuit style workout. Jillian is pretty mellow (compared to seeing her on TBL) in this video but she still pushes you. One spot I thought I was going to die with these mountain climber things, and she said push those knees up high. As high as you can. Your only hurting yourself by not pushing your limits. You bought this dvd for a reason, now higher! Damn..is that the truth. So I pushed it. I felt pretty damn good when I was done, which was nice since my mood wasnt so nice when I started.

Im looking into buying some dumbbells for at home. Im thinking probably some of the adjustable ones so I can grow with them. Ive been doing some research on them, but still not sure which ones to buy. A friend of mine that is a pretty intense weightlifter was referring me to a few sites, and giving me suggestions for programs. Ive always been really intimidated by weightlifting, and never really stuck to a program. So I want to give this a go again.

Also, Ive found a 5k Im going to run on Feb 3, 2007. Its a Superbowl 5k. So this is Race 1 out of the 12 races I will be running this year :)

I could keep rambling, but tummys rumbling...time for lunch.

Structure

I love structure. Sometimes I complain when my schedule is jam packed, but that is really when Im the most productive and see the best results. So when Ive had this down time of just winging it so to speak, its been rough. When my schedule is slow, Im lazy. Its just a fact. So starting this running program, and soon starting my 3 day training definitely gets me giddy inside, and screams, "Yes! finally some structure!" And it makes me very, very happy :)

So this is week 1 of my half marathon training. Ive declared Mondays as rest day, since my weekends will be my longest days. I also have my Lia Sophia meetings on Mondays, so I didnt
want to miss a run due to that. (especially since its an hour away). I am following the Hal Higdons Novice Half Marathon training program. You actually dont get up to a full 13 miles, which kind of concerns me. But I had two friends last year follow this plan for their first half mary, and they were pretty happy with it. So Im taking their word :)

http://www.halhigdon.com/halfmarathon/novice.htm

Jennifer, my 3 day walking partner, loves to play with spreadsheets. While I can say I do like spreadsheets because I love organization, Im not totally in love with playing with them when I get home from work. (especially since I deal with them all day!) :p So when Jen wanted to plan out our training schedule for the 3 day walks this year, I was more than happy to let her indulge herself in the world of excel. So she took the suggested training plan from the 3 day, and than combined it with the training we did last year, and came up with a pretty sweet master plan. As I looked at the finished spreadsheet a grin appeared ear to ear. How big of a dork am I when I saw how awesome this plan is and I think...more structure!!!! With the two walks combined, looks like we will be aiming for 860 miles trained. :)

Its like a fresh of breath air. :) Okay, yes Im a dork.

Reminder of where Im at, and where Ive been...

So I wanted to blog about a little thing I noticed as I went out on NYE. As I tried to find an cute outfit (isnt that always on a girls mind?), I rummaged through my closet to see what I could find. I found a shirt that I wanted to wear, and had a great idea of an outfit. Now what I realized as I got ready.......was I would never of dreamt of wearing an outfit like this a year ago, heck 6 months ago. I ended up wearing leggings out! I wore leggings. I never thought that would be possible, or that I would ever be confident enough to even wear leggings again. But with all that walking and running, I do have to say my legs are my best asset :) On the way to the bar, I looked down at my cute leggings, and than noticed this thing a friend told me about the other day....do you legs fit in between the edges of the seat in the car? They sure did. I remember when they didnt! Two things to remind me where I am now, and where Im never going back again!


On other news updates...my visit with Dawn was a really good visit.
It was different than we all expected. She is in a hospital bed in the living room vs in her bed in her bedroom. She was up when we got there, and she looked pretty good. I could tell she lost a lot of weight, and muscle. She has lost all muscle from her waist down, so has no mobility there. Its just all bones. But still has little muscle on her upper body. They have been doing some exercises to keep what she has left going. Her hearing was in and out, and her one eye she was having a lot of trouble with. But she did say that since she has stopped treatment her vision and hearing is coming back slowly.

It turns out that they found a tumor in the fluid of her brain, if I understand that correctly. And the cancer has really just progressed faster than they imagined. She cant believe just over a month ago she was feeling good, walking, etc. And now she can barely move, and is doing what she can to just simply get by. They decided that it was time, and wanted her last few months to feel as comfortable as they can, so stopping treatment and being able to be with her family is exactly that. She was really open about everything, which she never really has been. Her husband is doing amazing, he really is being so strong, as well is she. Which I had no doubt.

But there was 7 of us there, and we all just hung out catching up on each others lives, talking about all our memories of when we walked the 3day, the training, the fundraisers, my crazy ass doing two walks this year, etc. It was really nice. We stayed for an hour and than decided to get going because she was looking tired. Than the hard part started. She was good hugging two of us, than she started crying. And she said, this cant be goodbye. The stronger woman, which wasnt me, said dont you worry we will see you again. This is not goodbye. I gave her a kiss, hugged her, and could barely spit out I love you because I was so choked up. She squeezed me tightly and than wouldnt let go of my hand. Sadly, I quickly had to look away.

So much for being strong. I hope she realizes how much I care for her. Im sure she does. I just wish I could of gave her some more comforting words. On the way home I was in a daze, and than had a good, long cry. I needed it. I got home and started to tell Grant about the visit...and cried some more to him. Lately that man has seen more tears from me than he did the entire time we have been together! And still everytime hes supports me like he did that very first year. And that is exactly why I love this man so much. Anyways, after all that I was pretty down, so decided to go do some retail therapy. (another chick thing eh?) It helped to get my mind of things. We are going to try to fit in a few more visits with Dawn in the next month.

I really appreciate all your support. Death definitely can bring out emotions that are hard to express sometimes, but being able to share it here is comforting. I feel very lucky to have the support system of friends such as all of you!

Strength

So this blog is a personal blog. Since the only thing I can think about right now is what I am going to have to do in 3 hours. I will be saying goodbye to a friend that is very dear to my heart. Dawn is dying. Her health is decreasing fast. I mentioned in a blog before Christmas that her family and her decided to stop treatment, and hospice is in place. Well she is still at home at this point, but she can not walk. Her sight and hearing bother her a lot, but she still has use of them. She is on morphine to subside the pain. She is mostly in and out of sleep, but cant still communicate when shes awake.

So there about 6-7 of us that all walked the 3 day together in 2004 that are meeting up before we go over her house. We all are going to make the trip together, and go see her in by twos. And than afterwards all go to get a drink and support each other where we can. I think this is the best way to do this. I honestly dont know if I could go in to see her alone. Im sure I would find the strength. But she has always been strong to us, and now is the time for us to be strong for her. I hope I can find the strength.

Last night as I was in the car every song that came on the radio reminded me of Dawn, and reminded me of struggle. A dark cloud came over me since Ive heard what is happening and it hasnt let up. I went to my sisters for Bob's birthday last night, and my mom felt the need to let everyone know where I was going today. My eyes filled with tears, but I excused myself to the bathroom to regain composure. As I thought about today, my anxiety got higher and higher...actually it still is. I feel Im am close to a panic attack.

Life is not fair. At all. She is so young and deserves life. Its so hard for me to understand this. How in the hell am I suppose to go visit a friend today and know its the last time Im going to see her? How am I suppose to put on a smile, when all I want to do is grab on to her and hold on and never let go? Cancer has taken many people in my life, but never in my adult life. It hurts. Really bad. My hands have been trembling the entire time I write this.

I wish I had someone to turn to. A friend who could support me through this. Unfortunately I dont have to many good friends I can turn to. I really miss my ex best-friend at times like this. She would know what to say, what to do, and make things feel okay. I realize now later in life, how much I miss her like hell, and wish we didnt grow apart. I know Ill have my 3 Day friends, and while we all arent super close...we do know the struggle and have experienced the effects of this horrible disease together....so that will be comforting to each of us. Grant has been there for me, as he always is, but I think he really doesnt know what to do either but just hug me and tell me its going to be okay. But its not. Shes dying. Theres nothing okay about that. But after I let the anger subside, I realize it will be okay. God only hands us as much as we can handle, so in the end it will hurt like hell...but it will be okay.

Deep Breath In. Deep Breath Out. Maybe Ill try to go for a jog before I go, it will help clear my head a bit. I will not look at this visit, as "a goodbye visit", but rather a time to catch up and enjoy each others company. I know she will put on her smile, and show how strong she is. That is Dawn - one of the strongest woman I know. Ill enjoy my time with her today, and make sure I tell her how much I love her. I will be strong. Because thats all I can do.

I think I may be going insane

Something about running gets to me. In a good way. So Im sticking to it. I have felt great while running, and for someone who has arthritis knees I didnt think this would ever be possible. My orthopedic surgeon said I could, but I never believed him. But with his encouragement and detailed plan, he was right. I love the way it makes me feel. I love how I make certain choices when I know Im running the next day, or ran that day. I like the struggle while on the run, and than the awesome feeling when Im done. I love how I almost feel like an actual athlete while at a race. Sure I played sports in high school, but I SUCKED. I was better at band, which was fine by me. GO BAND GEEKS! :p

But I always wanted to be athletic. Who would of thought now Im actually feeling like one?

So today I think I may have crossed the level of insane. As I read Robs journal, and than we exchanged some emails back and forth about the Detroit Free Press Half Marathon I started to get inspired. Could I truly do two Breast Cancer 3 Day events one month apart from each other, and than turn around and run a half marathon only 19 days later? Seems insane if you ask me. So as I tried to be level headed about it, Robs excitement definitely proved that we have the heart to do it. So I think Im game. Actually I know Im game. So as crazy as it sounds, on October 19th I will be running in a half marathon. Today I took my 3 day walking training plan, and took a half marathon running training program, and tried to come up with a master plan. A big training plan to incorporate both running and walking, and getting in what I need where I need it. Its still a work in progress. But I think its totally doable. And the friends Ive shared this idea with think I totally can do it to.

So as I got to thinking more....I thought well I could do a few 5ks, maybe a few 10ks in between now and when I start training for the 3 day. That will probably be around late April/early May. Than I thought, what if I do a half marathon before my 3 day training starts. I have the time, and it would keep me focused. And I know of a half marathon that is exactly 13 weeks away, the Martian Marathon. I walked in it a few years ago as training for the 3 day, and loved it. So I talked to a few running friends, one of them referred me to a 12 week program. I looked it over and thought this is soooo doable.

So on April 6th I will be running in the Martian Half Marathon. :) So lets get this straight...

• April 6th - I will be running in the Martian Half Marathon
• August 15th - 17th I will be walking in the Boston 3 Day
• September 26h - 28th I will be walking in the Michigan 3 Day
• October 19th - I will be running in the Detroit Free Press Half Marathon

Yep, Im officially insane. Motivated, focused, happy, geeked, excited, and inspired. But maybe a little insane.

:)

This is so my year. Just you watch ;)

38th Annual Belle Isle New Years Fun Run

Im so glad that I went out on NYE and did this race! It was just what I needed. Grant and I headed down around 2:45, and got right into a parking spot around 3:10. No traffic at all actually, which surprised me since there is only one in and out of the area. There was around 1200 runners, and the walk was actually starting at 3pm, where the run started at 4pm, so that made it more roomy on the route.

We ended up getting some snow the night before, so I was worried how the weather conditions might be. But the sun came out and most of the snow melted. There was very little wind, and the temps were pretty mild, at least to me. So it was perfect running weather. I started in the middle of the pack, and we didnt have the chip to time ourselves. Basically there was just a clock when you crossed the finish line. I had my watch on to, so I timed myself that way as well. I got across the start line rather quickly, maybe within the first 5 seconds. Way different than the Turkey Trot where it took a good 5 minutes.

The route was relatively flat and was a nice run. This race was on a island/park called Belle Isle, and the route was closed to traffic. So it felt like a run through a park. I had really bad side stitches through the first two miles, and I even started to get a pain in my abdomen. I slowed down my pace, and took some deep breaths and turned up my music and the pain went away, or I just forgot about it. :p After mile 2 a lot of people started to walk. I really wanted to, but said no way. I focused on the ducks nearby for a mile, they were pretty entertaining. :) Than around mile 3 we were rounding around to the finish line. It was a big loop around, but you could see the finish line the entire time (what a tease eh?) I saw Grant around mile 3, so I smiled for a picture and gave him the thumbs up. I glanced at my watch and saw that I was hitting mile 3 right at my Turkey Trot 5k time - 30:46. Than I thought I can do one more mile in 15 minutes and maintain my normal 4 mile time of 45:00. At that point I got some energy so pushed my speed up a notch.

Luckily for me, this is when Ritchie Hawtins set came on my ipod. It was a live set, so I could hear people cheering and clapping in the background. And I kept looking around and thought it was people along the route, and than I finally realized it was in my headphones. LOL I had my own cheering section. It pushed me through that last mile :) When I rounded the corner and saw the finish line I glanced at the clock. It was still a little blurry but looked like it said 39:10. I thought, no shit! Look at that. So I sprinted to the end, and crossed at 40:45 :) My watch read 40:40. I felt like I really struggled through some of that run, so was surprised I broke my best time yet!

I was pretty geeked the rest of the day :) I cant think of a better way to end my year! I think Im starting to really dig this running gig.

Here some pictures....a few came out a little blurry though.....

Pre-Race Picture

Very chilly Ninja Grant

Can you find me? Heres a hint...Im by the little boy in the blue coat

Mile 3 - Good to Go

Almost to the finish line

And a few more steps....

• Another race completed - Happy Mel

5k - Check. 4 Miler - Check. And next on the agenda is a 10k. :) Yeah I may have a little bit of running fever, but its so much fun!

P.S. In other exciting news. I got a Jillian Michaels DVD for Christmas and tried it for the first time today. She totally kicked my ass. I was dripping in sweat when I was done, and you know how that dripping in sweat always feels like a reward of a good workout to me. :)