I will not let my emotions get the best of me. I will not turn to food. I will not use alcohol to numb my feelings. I will not. I. CAN. NOT.
Its been a rough night. Just some personal stuff going on that I'm not really going to go into, but it really turned my night upside down. I came home from work and caught another great episode of Oprah. Seal (the singer) and his wife Heidi Klum were on there. Seal is such a sweet guy! And a great husband :) After that, I decided to get another jog/walk in since its suppose to be raining tomorrow evening. So off I went to the track. I tried 3 minutes of jogging and 2 minutes of walking and it worked out much better than yesterday. I think the 3 minutes of walking was to much time in between the jogs. The jogs were easier on me in a way that my chest didnt feel like it was going to explode , but still a little rough as in I felt whooped after each 3 minutes. It felt like I was working hard, and I liked that. Will this jogging gig get easier? I hope one day the breathing comes second nature. I cant wait for that moment I get that "runners high". I have a feeling that will be many, many months from now :p
I stopped by Meijers on the way home and picked up something for dinner since I knew there wasn't anything healthy at home to cook. But I never got around to cooking dinner due to some "stuff" that went down. I cant believe how in a matter of a few hours you can be in such this great mood, and life is feeling great, to BAM! life isn't so great. We have to take the good with the bad I suppose. I still haven't ate dinner, but think Ill eat a bowl of cereal and than I'm heading to bed. I had to come post this blog or I was tempted to stuff my face or down a few beers. I think I'm past that moment now. Geez addiction sure is ugly, aint it?
Tomorrow's a new day, and I look forward to it.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Not such a great night
Posted by Melissa at 9:07 PM
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10 comments:
Awww...I wish you lived just a little closer...
Melissa, you get BIGTIME kudos for taking the time and distance to blog & do what you need to do to resist the temptation. Addiction is ugly, but you are on your way to mastering it (I say on your way only cuz it's a process, not because you don't show mastery, cuz you did tonight), and that is remarkable. Congratulations!
PS I hope tomorrow is better.
I know men have this problem too, but sometimes I feel like estrogen is such a traitor. She courses through us all day and night, and the moment something tugs at our emotions, that Bitch Estrogen tells us to go eat or drink. Stupid hormones. Way to resist her siren son.
Hope you made it through last night ok. Sorry it sucked so bad. Its a new day and I hope a better one for you. Take Care Melissa.
I hope you out-outlived the moment and great choice to blog rather than indulge.
Hoping your last few days have been better than the night of this post.
(Swanky - gotta love your imagery)
i know how it can go from pretty good to god awful. its not fun, but half the bad is getting past the food/beer stage. good for you for making it!
Sounds rough, sorry to hear that. You're mentally and emotionally strong, and the actions you took after your issue show this. You'll make it through!
As for runners high, I find that it only happens after 10-15 mins of continuous running. Once you get past that, you can go for a good long while before you start to feel like stopping if you are keeping a steady pace.
Not much to add, except for that I've been there, and I know how you're rolling. Hang in there, you made some good decisions in the face of adversity.
Good job Melissa. I don't know what the problem was, but by blogging instead of giving in you did the right thing, and that's what really matters.
Who would have thought that blogging would be such a positive outlet? Way to hang in and stay focused Melissa!
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