Finding my zen

Phew! Things have gotten really out of whack. Its amazing how fast things can trickle out of order. Its like a domino effect sometimes. While Im trying to find a routine that works best for me, its really seems to be quite the difficult task.

I got a promotion at work, which is a great thing :) But I hate not being great at what I do. Im such an overachiever and want to do the best I can. While I am doing the best I can with what I know, its not at that level where I want it to be. But it is a learning process, and once I get over that first learning curve Ill relax a bit. So its caused a bit of stress. And what does stress do to an emotional eater? You got it.

Thankfully Ive been keeping up with my workouts or Id probably of gained more weight. But Im just maintaining, which is still a lot heavier than I want to be. I need to buckle down on what Im eating. Seriously. Enough is enough. I feel like a broken record. I need to get in control of my emotional eating. I have learned how to handle emotional eating with my grief. This past week the grief has been pretty heavy actually (this weekend is coming up on 4 months since my dad passed), and Ive been able to avoid the binges. Ive been going to a grief support group, and it really has been a HUGE help. Ive learned a process on how to accept the grief. Before I couldnt even identify when its grief, but now I can. I identify it, allow it with a specific time frame, and when that time frame is up I dismiss it. And than I do an activity that is fun, positive, and healthy. Its almost common sense right? But doesnt feel so much like that when its happening. So why cant I apply this process or one similar to it when stress hits? Its pretty much the same concept. It just feels like a totally different ballgame with stress for some reason.

So Im trying to find my zen. Im working on the easier stuff first. The things I know I can get back in order. Ive been able to get the household back in a routine. We have had Rusty for over a month now. And hes adjusted well to the big dogs, as they have to him. I knew there would be an adjustment period, and sometimes I wish I had a third hand. But the process definitely moved a LOT faster than I expected. Im so glad hes here with us. Having them on a schedule is definitely helping me. Even their playtime seems to be the same time everyday. LOL My LS business has been slow, so I have had time to organize my office. And also been able to keep up on the house chores! Its amazing how when things around you get organized how better you feel. Now matter how chaotic your day is...when you come home to a clean, organized space...its like tranquility. Ive started to do more consistent things non exercise related for me as well. Like reading, listening to music, cooking (shhh, dont tell Grant about that one), photography, etc. Things that make me happy, and help me feel centered again. I can feel the zen coming back.....I feel it so close.

Now to put a plan together on this stress emotional eating......