Clarity

Please forgive me, and bear with me on this personal entry. This has been bugging me and I need to get some more clarity, and who better than to get it from but you my wise F.A.T. friends :)

Ive talked about this with a few friends, and they all have told me Im to sensitive and take things to personal. Im the first to admit, one of my biggest downfalls is being oversensitive. Ive been working on it, and its been quite the daunting task. Part of me does think that maybe I am being "to sensitive", but than again any one that has walked in this event may feel the same way I do.

With that being said, the issue Im having is with a friend. If thats what you call her. I met this girl online a few years ago. We live about 15 minutes from each other so we have gotten together offline as well. We would met for dinner, or drinks every few months. Well she wanted to sign up for the 3 day, and of course I encouraged that. I think its an amazing experience and wish everyone could participate. And I thought it would be a great chance for us to get to know each other better, and sharing this experience with a friend or family member just ads a bonus to the whole thing. After we started training I found out this was a big mistake.

We have had our ups and downs together through fundraising and training. She never was to optimistic about anything, the training, fundraising, etc. All during our training, I gave her all the tips I could. Helped her out in areas I thought she needed. Being a veteran walker I had the advantage of already dealing with foot care, what type of clothing to wear, how to train, etc. Every advice I gave her she sort of downplayed it. Wrote it off, like sure that works for you, but Ill find some other way to work for me. Thats fine. I never understood why you wouldn't use the resources around you, but to each their own I suppose. Most recently she went to this workshop for the 3 day and met about 15 other walkers. They told her the exact same advice I gave her, and she is now coming back to me acting like this is breaking news. And Im like yeah I already told you that. So basically I asked her why she writes off what I suggests, and than jumps at the first thing these other woman say...she of course says, shed rather get lots of peoples opinions and form to what works best for her. Thats fine, but dont come back to me and say hey, these woman told me this great advice and now Im going to take it, when its the same thing I said many moons ago. Ok so this part I realize Im just being sensitive, and this part is petty.

So we got into this debate and she starting complaining about how much the 3 day is costing her. The clothes, shoes, gear, etc. And how shes frustrated that a charity event is costing her so much money. And than went on about how there are tons of downfalls to this event. The time commitment is more than she expected (although shes only training on the weekends and sometimes only 1 day on the weekend), the fundraising took up even more time (yes $2200 is a lot to raise), and of course the money shes spending to participate in the event on top of the time and money shes raised. She ended this with saying, but I signed up to do this...so Im going to do it. And apologizes that its not a 100% positive experience for her like it is for me.

So we obviously have very different views on this event. And I guess at this point my problem is that Im really torn. She has a right to her opinion, just like I do mine. But honestly I dont want to be around someone so pessimistic about an event that has changed my life. I look forward to this weekend every year. More so this year since I had to sit out due to health reasons last year. I want to be surrounded by nothing but positive. We are also tentmates. So we will be tenting together. So we will be around each other regardless. She has already said that she wont be able to walk with me all 3 days. Thats to much time around the same person. So I doubt we will be around each other the entire weekend.

There are 2 types of charitable people - those who do it to help others, and those who do it to help themelves. That feels so very true in this situation.

Im not sure what clarity I need. I guess how do I make the best of this situation. How do I just leave it at, well thats sad for her, and continue on doing my own thing. How do I not take it personal?

Thanks for reading this long blog. I just needed to get these thoughts typed out because they keep running through my head.