Breast Cancer 3 Day Is Here!

Yay! Its finally here! I cant explain how giddy and excited Ive been all day. The work day was soooo long! I know tommorrow when I hit opening ceremonies I'm probably going to be overwhelmed with emotions. Since I had to sit out last year due to medical problems, its really made this year so much more special. I feel so lucky to be part of the 3 day community, and able to do my part in the fight against Breast Cancer. A weekend of hope. A weekend surrounded by kindness. A weekend where we are making a difference. A weekend that changes lives :) At least it did mine 4 years ago. :)

Ive finally got my packing done. I had to switch to a duffel bag vs a bag on wheels. It was quite the task cramming all that stuff in one bag, but I got it done. I hope my sleeping bag is thick enough. I opted for a lighter one and put a fleece blanket in it. I did pack tons of body warmers to though.

Ill be heading down to Opening ceremonies with my parents around 6am. I have awesome support from my parents through the whole weekend. I even design them shirts to wear. Although I had quite the mishap with my shirt order this year. I waited to long to order them and today it arrived, except the shirts were someone elses order! But I called and they are overnighting the right shirts so should arrive here in the AM. I was pretty bummed when I first opened the package!

I was pleasantly surprised to see the number on the scale this morning. 1 pound away from my September goal. Im going to weigh again in the morning and may use that as my ending weight for the challenge. I know from previous 3 days, that the food we eat will cause me to be a little bloated at the end of the weekend. All the salt. Even though you burn so much of that off, it still may take a few days next week to get my body back to normal. This event can be a womans dream: eat, drink, walk, pee. Repeat. lol My body needs all the food offered so no counting calories this weekend for me :) I thought in previous years that oh I wont be hungry, Ill limit my food. But with all the energy your burning...your body says, FEED ME! :)

Well I better get to bed. Ill take tons of pictures to share. Hey maybe we will get one of Rob, Jim, and I :) Have a great weekend F.A.T.!

Healthy Lifestyle Change

After receiving some very nice comments on my blog yesterday (thank you fat members) it got me a thinking. I know what your thinking. Oh boy, Melis is thinking, watch the sparks fly. :) I was thinking of all the different aspects of my lifestyle, and how they all play into each other. They all are connected in one way or another. This overhaul change into a healthy lifestyle will eventually enter into all the areas of my life. And than my friends, I will be one amazing woman ;)

Seriously though, it truly amazes me how one area of my life can be having such a hard time, and subconsciously (or maybe consciously) I let it affect all the other areas of my life. Its like a domino affect. Say I eat like crap, and that makes me feel like crap, physically and mentally. So than I may not workout. Or I may even eat more because Im an emotional eater. Before you know I feel worse as a whole than I did in beginning of this vicious cycle.

This is a prime example of what Ive been struggling all week with. (and this is continuing from my blog yesterday, so bare with me) I drank to much, which caused my mood to react a certain way. I knew that I may end up feeling a certain way when I drank, but I just did what I usually do in those situations. Its like so routine you almost dont realize your doing it until your done, or realize when its to late. Just from that one situation, it affected how I thought and felt for a few days, and caused my negative reactions.

So where did I go wrong? I lacked control. I ultimately am in control of my life. I could of stopped this cycle at any point. Even after what was done was done. I could have did things to make my mood change. Do things that make me happy. Instead I gave in and lost the control. I let my feelings dictate my actions. I have to be more conscious of what is going on, especially in those situations. I know what will happen if I do A, B & C. So just like eating healthy I need to have a plan. A plan going into those situations. A plan to escape if I need to. Its not weak. Its smart. I wouldnt go into a food fest situation without a plan, so why should this be any different. And even when Im in the situation I need to stop and think about every action I do. How will this make me feel? How do I feel at this point? How will this affect people around me? Grant and I use to be really good about checking in with our feelings in situation like this, but we both really dropped the ball this time.

I know I probably sound like some crazy chick. You may be thinking, what is the big deal? Just dont do it. Especially since you know the consequences. Easier said than done, especially since I have quite the addictive behavior. This has been an ongoing problem of mine for about 6 years. I am a binge drinker. And ironically, I dont want to give up drinking. I enjoy beer. I have learned in the last year that I can drink and not abuse. But it takes a lot of work. And this past weekend simply got away from me. And now I remember why I need a plan, and why planning works for me.

Back to the healthy lifestyle. As you can see my pattern is abuse/binge drinking, abuse/binge food, etc. So all parts of my lifestyle play into each other. Lucky for you I only went into two parts of it. Given the amount of blogs you read, I cut you some slack ;) But the more better I get at controlling one thing, it can only lead into another. Each time I can get stronger, and attack these downfalls head on. The same techniques I use in one area, is what will help me use in another. I can not wait till the day that I can say, I Live Healthy. I Live Happy. I Live Smart. I Live Well. Joining this group has been quite therapeutic. And I feel privileged to be around such strong, amazing people. Thank you F.A.T. :)

P.S. Please forgive me for being overemotional - the 3 day does that to me. Less 39 Hours! :)

And Thats A Wrap

Last night Grant and I went to our last Tigers game of the season. This was the first year we bought season tickets, and while it was a trying year for the Tigers, I loved every minute of those games :) Unfortunately, my boys are going through a slump at the wrong time for them. But they will come back strong next season. I know they will ;)

And now I also need to wrap up this lack of self control! Its one thing to enjoy an out of town weekend, but its another to bring the behavior home with me! I was out of control at the game last night. I was like what can I eat next after everything I ate. I kept up with Grant if that tells you anything of how much I ate.

I really think the drinking this past weekend brought on a spurt of depression. I know this happens when Ive havent drank a lot in awhile. I didnt drink that much to the point where it was binge like, and I drank over a long time span. But its been probably 2 months since the last time I drank more than 2 drinks in one sitting. Ive been so absorbed in my training and fundraising lately. So this feeling of depression isnt anything new to me. Why do I do it than? Good question, when I figure that out Ill let you know. Unfortunately, 3 years of therapy hasnt helped yet. Again, I need to be in control of how Im feeling, why Im feeling this way, why Im doing what Im doing to feel that way, and how Im going to react. Last night I reacted the way Melissa always does. Food makes me feel better, but in long run it actually makes me feel worse. Emotional eating is such a demon.

So again, today is a new day. Time to take control. Be aware of what Im putting in my mouth, and get in a good workout that will uplift my mood. Im suppose to meet Jennifer for a walk after work and think Ill try to workout to my dvd when I get home. I still have errands to run to get ready for my walk this weekend so time is really sparse this week. I am looking so forward to Friday though. Only 2.5 work days left at this point :)

I promise more uplifting blogs to come in the future.

Heres a picture from this weekend :)

Self Control Can Be Such A Battle

Well the weekend started off good...but quickly went sour. I have some issues with self control, in many areas. Its hard when your out of town and every meal is at a restaurant. It can be a little overwhelming trying to figure out what is a good meal and what is not. But it something I need to learn to do. And I guess the more practice the better I can only get.

First my victories. Saturday morning I did awesome at Breakfast. I ordered egg beaters w/ peppers, onions, and tomatoes. 2 pancakes came with it, and with sugar free syrup. I ate one. Finding sidewalks did end up being a challenge since the hotel was on a major highway, so I opted out of walking. Instead I hit the exercise room at the hotel. I forgot how great it feels to work out on machines. I sweated my booty off on that thing! It felt great. I really felt like during the workout I pushed myself. Especially since after the first interval I thought...with this resistance, maybe this is to hard? But worked it out :)

The wedding at Mexican food, and it was buffet style so I could control what I put on my plate. I think I did fairly good with my choices. Balanced my plate out pretty good. I had 3 lite beers (smaller than 12 ounces to) while there as well which was a 5 hour span - and drank water the rest of the day. So if I stopped while I was ahead the day/night could of been good.

Now heres the loses. After the wedding we headed to the bride and grooms for a little after reception party. I avoided munching on chips, but did manage to drink more. And this wasnt lite beer. We were there pretty late so on the way back to the hotel we stopped and grabbed something to eat. Drunk Melissa and eating at 3am...yeah not a pretty site. On Sunday we headed home early afternoon and stopped and got Wendys on the way home. I did get one of the sandwiches rather than a burger - but I think I just kinda gave up at that point. The rest of the night was unsuccessful food wise. I planned on walking when I got home on Sunday but was tired, and moody - which Im sure played into why I was eating the way I was. And I think I felt crappy that I knew I was blowing my successful week, so threw in the towel so to speak.

I crashed early last night, and definitely was looking forward to waking up to a new day. Whats done is done, and today is a new day. Im sure after a few detox days, the number on the scale may start moving again. But not going to focus to hard on it this week since the weekend will bring lots of salt into my body and I will probably see a gain. Its really hard not letting that number on the scale really determine how my mood will be.

I have to remember though, I get what I earn. And that is exactly what happened this weekend. While the whole weekend wasnt blown away - I could have done better. I coached myself early in the weekend so I would do better, but still didnt follow through. Self Control...something I need to work on.

Road Trip

Today Grant and I took off for a weekend road trip. Just 3 hours away. We are in Indiana for a wedding. And whats has been Melissa's mentality for years when anywhere except home? Eat whatever I want because Im on vacation! Not this time though. This time I plan on staying on track.

I saw a new low on the scale this morning, and Ive finally reached the weight I was right after my surgery. I had surgery this past Feb and went back to work in April and was at an ultimate low. Unfortuantely I gained back 15 pounds between April and June. So it feels good to be back to that lower weight. No more yo-yoing for me. I seem to make that same mistake, with 10-20 pounds over and over and over. No more! This time its gone for good!

Ive scoped out the area for walking in the AM. The wedding isnt until 2 so I have plenty of walking time aloud. Problem is no sidewalks. Go figure. We are right on a busy intersection to. Im going to see if I can maybe look up some side street areas on mapmyrun.com. If it comes down to it, than they have a 24 hour exercise room so I will head down there and at least get some workout in. I really would like to get some walking in though since its the last weekend before my walk. Ill plan on walking when I get home on Sunday, but still would like to get some miles on tommorrow to.

I may check back in tommorrow - if not defintely Sunday. Enjoy your weekend :)

P.S. Yes Grant and I are computer geeks and take a laptop when we go out of town. Hey its free wifi! lol

Ramblings

This week is going by soooo slow! I knew the last two weeks before my walk would drag. The days drag by, but when the nights hit, I have so much to do and they FLY by. I did end up giving in to an bad urge today, and ate Taco Bell. While eating I regretted every bite..and it wasn't even that good. But for some reason I kept piling the food in my mouth. Even while ordering I thought....you know your going to feel craptastic later....why are you doing this. But I quickly shut that voice up. I know I was just giving into convenience which is a lame excuse because lots of healthy options could be convenient as well. Its probably been a good two months since my last fast food meal. I use to eat it daily :( Whats done is done. Time to move on.

I had my interview yesterday, and I think it went good. The woman seemed to take a liking to me. She also said she looks forward to calling me later in the week, and asked if starting next week was a problem. That has to be promising right? She has to check my references first. The job looks pretty laid back, well compared to my previous part time jobs. Its a counseling office, and all the therapists are contracted in so they handle their schedules. We are mainly just a support staff to them. So basic office tasks. I think it will be the perfect part time job for me. Keeping my fingers crossed!

So with that part time job looking like a possibility, I have already started hashing out some schedules. Where to fit in workouts, healthy dinners, etc. Its a little overwhelming, but I can do this. I do handle things better when Im super busy. Well sort of, my eating and exercising sometimes wasnt handled so great. But this time around it will be handled different. Im doing it right. And will succeed! I need to pick Rebecca's, and all of your brains on some stuff though. Im sure the first few weeks will be a lot of trial and error, finding out what works best for me. In a way, I think it will help me stay on track more. I wont have time to goof off!

I also started to look for races that I could enter. SoI have a goal in front of me. I saw that Hansons (local running store), has these group runs for all levels and thought that might be something Id like to do. But if I get this part time job that wont work. But I think maybe a 5K may be the event I need. Ill have to see what happens in the next week and see if Ill be able to put in the training. I may pick up that training program David posted on his blog. Id really like to do a triathlon in the future...but first Id have to learn how to swim :p Something about that event just feels hardcore to me.

Oh , and another thing....my first year during the 3 Day I made a shirt to wear. It had all the people I was walking in honor of. I debated back and forth if I was going to do it this year, and at the last minute decided what the heck. And the site I used in previous years has coolmax shirts! So Im definitely making one now. So if there is anyone, that any of you would like me to add to my shirt just shoot me their name. Id love to add them :-)

P.S. Thanks Rob and Kristen for the comments on my previous blog. Rob..I know woman really are crazy eh? lol I guess Im guilty of that! Just typing out that blog made me feel better. Its like I got it all out of my system and am ready to move on. Somtimes keeping that stuff bottled in makes you feel like your going to erupt like a volcano! It is what it is, and thats sad for her. But not for me! Ive been waiting all year for this event, nothing is going to bring me down. 8 days till the 3 day! I cant wait :)

Clarity

Please forgive me, and bear with me on this personal entry. This has been bugging me and I need to get some more clarity, and who better than to get it from but you my wise F.A.T. friends :)

Ive talked about this with a few friends, and they all have told me Im to sensitive and take things to personal. Im the first to admit, one of my biggest downfalls is being oversensitive. Ive been working on it, and its been quite the daunting task. Part of me does think that maybe I am being "to sensitive", but than again any one that has walked in this event may feel the same way I do.

With that being said, the issue Im having is with a friend. If thats what you call her. I met this girl online a few years ago. We live about 15 minutes from each other so we have gotten together offline as well. We would met for dinner, or drinks every few months. Well she wanted to sign up for the 3 day, and of course I encouraged that. I think its an amazing experience and wish everyone could participate. And I thought it would be a great chance for us to get to know each other better, and sharing this experience with a friend or family member just ads a bonus to the whole thing. After we started training I found out this was a big mistake.

We have had our ups and downs together through fundraising and training. She never was to optimistic about anything, the training, fundraising, etc. All during our training, I gave her all the tips I could. Helped her out in areas I thought she needed. Being a veteran walker I had the advantage of already dealing with foot care, what type of clothing to wear, how to train, etc. Every advice I gave her she sort of downplayed it. Wrote it off, like sure that works for you, but Ill find some other way to work for me. Thats fine. I never understood why you wouldn't use the resources around you, but to each their own I suppose. Most recently she went to this workshop for the 3 day and met about 15 other walkers. They told her the exact same advice I gave her, and she is now coming back to me acting like this is breaking news. And Im like yeah I already told you that. So basically I asked her why she writes off what I suggests, and than jumps at the first thing these other woman say...she of course says, shed rather get lots of peoples opinions and form to what works best for her. Thats fine, but dont come back to me and say hey, these woman told me this great advice and now Im going to take it, when its the same thing I said many moons ago. Ok so this part I realize Im just being sensitive, and this part is petty.

So we got into this debate and she starting complaining about how much the 3 day is costing her. The clothes, shoes, gear, etc. And how shes frustrated that a charity event is costing her so much money. And than went on about how there are tons of downfalls to this event. The time commitment is more than she expected (although shes only training on the weekends and sometimes only 1 day on the weekend), the fundraising took up even more time (yes $2200 is a lot to raise), and of course the money shes spending to participate in the event on top of the time and money shes raised. She ended this with saying, but I signed up to do this...so Im going to do it. And apologizes that its not a 100% positive experience for her like it is for me.

So we obviously have very different views on this event. And I guess at this point my problem is that Im really torn. She has a right to her opinion, just like I do mine. But honestly I dont want to be around someone so pessimistic about an event that has changed my life. I look forward to this weekend every year. More so this year since I had to sit out due to health reasons last year. I want to be surrounded by nothing but positive. We are also tentmates. So we will be tenting together. So we will be around each other regardless. She has already said that she wont be able to walk with me all 3 days. Thats to much time around the same person. So I doubt we will be around each other the entire weekend.

There are 2 types of charitable people - those who do it to help others, and those who do it to help themelves. That feels so very true in this situation.

Im not sure what clarity I need. I guess how do I make the best of this situation. How do I just leave it at, well thats sad for her, and continue on doing my own thing. How do I not take it personal?

Thanks for reading this long blog. I just needed to get these thoughts typed out because they keep running through my head.

Life After the 3 Day

This has been on my mind for the last few weeks. In previous years life after the 3 day isnt the greatest. First theres the sadness/depression of this incredible event being over. Second, I usually drop a few pounds while training for the 3 day, and than its over and BAM! I lose all control of balancing my eating and exercise, and the weight comes back and than some.

I spend so much of my year training for this event, and than when its over its like I get depressed, and just mope around and eat. (emotional eating rearing its ugly head) My exercise gets restricted in a way (I really think this is all mental)and I dont know if Im just burnt out from all the walking Ive done, or if I just dont care. But when you continue to eat like your training for a 60 mile walk, and stop almost all exercise..well the result isnt pretty.

Now previous years Ive mostly toned up vs losing weight. Id drop 5 pounds or so, but mostly I gained a lot of muscle. But this year I have lost more weight and have toned up quite nicely. Well imo. :) SO Id like to keep the trend going. Look at this as a jump start.

I do feel that this year wont be as drastic since I have F.A.T for one. And because Im at a point right now where Im aware of my food intake, and doing other exercise besides walking. But when I think about after my walk is over, I feel a little overwhelmed. Right now I feel obligated to be out there walking, and after this event is over Ill only be obligated to myself to get in cardio. That should be enough right? Sometimes I wonder if it is. If it was that simple, where did I go wrong previous years? I dont have a gym membership, and dont think we can work one into the budget at this point. So that will be another challenge in trying to get in my cardio. Especially with the winter approaching. Perhaps I should make a membership part of the budget. It is for my health. It is more of a need, than want, in regards to my health.

I finally have an interview for a second, part time job. Its tomorrow. And while Im hoping it works out for me, it will also put another stressor on continuing this healthy lifestyle. Its next in line of things that derail my progress. I usually pick up a second job, work way to many hours and miss workouts, and eat the dreaded fast food. This job is going to be 25-29 hours a week, and is a receptionist job for a counseling office. Maybe Im jumping ahead of myself since I havent even gone on the interview yet, but if I get the job Ill be tied up weeknights until 9pm. From what I understand I will have Friday and Sundays off. And my Saturdays I will work 9am - 3pm. So Saturday evenings will be my off night to. So I will have the challenge of trying to work in some form of exercise with that schedule.

When I think about all of this, its a little stressful. I wonder how Ill do it. Will I be able to do it? I read some of your blogs and some of you have busy lifestyles, and I am impressed with how well you balance things. Than I reflect onto my life and think....when things get busy or tough...I always bail on what is important. My health. I really want to become that healthy person I want to be. I really want to be able to balance everything. But how do I know if Im overdoing it. If Im taking on to much. If Im setting myself up to fail. Getting a second job is a necessity at this point in my life. At least for 4-6 months. So how do I make this work for Melissa?

Sorry if this blog is all over and hard to read...I feel like its scattered thoughts, just like my brain!

I always was a fan of turtles

Slow and steady...that is my story on weight loss. And Ill take it! Down another 2.5 pounds this week. I think I need a new scale though. I weighed myself 7 times, and got 3 different weigh ins. I took the weigh in that was the same 4 times (and Ill note it wasnt the lowest ;) ). The first weigh in was WAY off. I was looking to see if I can reset, or rebalance it, but not an option. Maybe next month Ill go buy a new one, but probably not a good idea mid month.

Anyhoo, its nice to see the scale moving again. Especially after a frustrating month in August. Ive really been conscious of what I eat and think its definitely helping.

Yesterday was my last 18 miler before the 3 day and it was a great walk. The temperatures have dropped drastically here in Michigan, so it was pretty chilly. Ive been digging out my warmer clothes, but unfortunately they still don't fit. Boohoo. My first 3 day when I trained in the winter, I was at my lowest weight ever (which was a little to low if you ask me), so the clothes are itty bitty. So I may have to go hit up the stores today. My left knee was achey a bit yesterday from mile 12-18. Which is odd because my right knee is the bad one. I think the cold might have had something to do with it. A few hours after the walk it was feeling a-ok though. I was so proud of myself for not taking a nap after my long walk yesterday. Which started to be a routine, and than Id get all disappointed that I wasted my day! Instead, Grant and I hit the stores. We are going out of town next weekend for a wedding and we needed to find me a dress and him a tie and shirt. So many people out yesterday, and so many stores just rummaged through....it was like Christmas! We had no luck finding anything, but was nice to try on mediums vs larges though :)

We stopped at Olive Garden for dinner, and sad to admit it wasn't as successful as my Mexican night out. And I voiced my concern to Grant when I scanned the menu. He said well look at the little items marked for healthy options. I didn't really like any of them, so did end up getting not the smartest choice. Chicken Parm. But I did get wheat pasta. I filled up on salad, ate one bread stick (grant moved the bread over by him and thought I didn't notice but than I thanked him), and promptly put half of my meal in a carry out box. So I felt OK about my choice. Could have done better, but sometimes I will have to take the good with the bad as long as I don't overdo it with portion size.

This morning Bandito was ready to get up and cause chaos at 6am. Thankfully Grant got up and let me sleep in. I slept in till 11, that felt nice. So now I'm just eating a bit, and than going to head out for my walk. 8 or 10 miles, still debating that one. I may also do my DVD when I get back to since the walk is so much shorter today.

I'm feeling pretty darn good today :)

Mexican Food - No Problem

So yes, thank you my fellow F.A.T. members, you helped me make what could of been a disastrous night, a successful one. I met my 3 day friends out for dinner, and carefully scanned the menu. Sure enough there was one plate hidden on the menu that was grilled chicken with veggies, and it came with white rice. So I ordered that but substituted my rice with beans. Ordered only water. And pushed the chips and salsa to the other side of the table. When my meal arrived I promptly asked for a carry out box and put half of it in there. And than when deserts were ordered, I said no thanks.

How did it feel? Freaking Fantastic. And I did hear you guys cheering in my head. And that felt freakin great to. :)

Funny how a few different choices can make you feel so good. I am in control you flab. So take that! :)

I did end up staying later than planned and chatting the night away, so didnt get my workout in since it was close to 10 when I got home. But I had my hilly 6 miler planned for the next day after work so knew that one night off wouldnt kill me. Especially since sometimes you need that mental health day with friends from time to time. I love these ladies, they really are some of the most amazing woman Ive ever met :)

So yesterday I got my 6 miles in and than it was laundry night, so was stuck there till 9:30. Bandito thought he was slick. When I got home and the nice clean bedding was put on the bed, bandio creeped up on the bed, gave me those puppy dog eyes and I said NO WAY BUDDY! Get out of here. And he jumped down, and I went to go do something...when I came back he was rubbing his face and body all over the bed. Yep, so much for keeping the bed clean. White hair galore. That little bugger. hehe

Tonight we are meeting my parents for dinner but nothing else planned. So think Ill hit up my dvd :) And I have an 18 miler planned for the AM. Last big walking weekend. I think Im probably the only insane person that is excited for the weekend to get here so I can walk 18 miles. lol Call me crazy :)

Challenge of the week - Good Friends Good Food

So tonight I have a challenge. Im going out to eat with the woman I met on my first Breast Cancer 3 Day walk. There are about 15 of us that met that first year and go out to dinner every few months. We always go to the same restaurant. El Charros. This awesome Mexican restaurant. Usually I get all the cheese loaded foods that taste fabulous and is so not good for me. Tonight I want to make the healthy choice. So I need your help! What is "healthy" at a Mexican restaurant? First I know I should not indulge in the chips and salsa. I can eat a whole bowl to myself sometimes!

Im meeting my friends at 6:30, so I should still get home at a reasonable hour where I can squeeze in my dvd. My abs were sore from Monday nights dvd. Working out in just my sports bra and some shorts really pushes me through that ab work since Im thinking, nice to see you flab when I look at my stomach. lol

Last night I met Jennifer for our weekday 6 miler by our work. We went in the opposite direction this time and my legs are definitely feeling those hills today. I love that feeling. The weather was so sporadic last night to. First the sun was shining, than the wind picked up, than it poured rain for 10 minutes, and than we had the sun again. A little bit of everything :) The weather is worrying me a bit. I have a feeling we are in for a rude awakening on the 3 day. Hopefully Mother Nature will be nice to us :)

P.S. GOOOO Tigers! The last few games, well except yesterdays first game, have been awesome! My boys are back! I gave up my ticket to tonights game so Grant could take his dad. He gets to take him for a spin in the new wheels. GOOOO Tigers!

Monday Thoughts...

I was trying to blog all day, but work has gotten insanely busy. I was given more accounts at work (I asked for them, I know Im crazy)so busy busy busy. It does make the days go by faster though :)

Anyhoo, my weekend was pretty good. Saturday I headed out for a 12 miler. We finished in about 3.75 hours. Pretty good pace. And just a walk around the park at this point ;) After my walk I had TONS of errands to run. We did decide to go out to Dally in the Alley after we ran errands. Grant and I both wanted to get out, but I wasn't to crazy about all the House music going on....but we went out anyways. We hung out at Dally for a couple hours, and the music sucked, imo. lol Detroit is bombarded with House music right now...and Im seriously so over it. One dj was horrible, you would have thought it was her first time spinning records. Kristen was there (looking hotter than ever), so it was nice to hang out with her :) She talked me into staying out, (I wasn't having that great of a time), and am glad she did. I got some much needed Kristen time :)

I didnt drink anything but water while we went out on Saturday night. I was determined to not derail my progress, and it was a smart choice because the scale was pretty nice to me Sunday morning. YAY! A good thing about changing my lifestyle right now also plays into my social scene. I have a alcohol abuse problem that I have been battling with, and trying to get under wraps for the last year. (well actually many years but really finally making changes this past year) And Im finally making progress and positive changes in that area. Dont get me wrong, I have my ups and downs through this issue, but Im finally letting Melissa , instead of Melissa's surroundings, take control. It feels great, and empowering. Im sure my body is quite happy with my choices to :)

Anyhoo, Sunday I went down and helped out another 3 Dayer by working a Tigers game. Rough game for my boys. But it was a beautiful day, I kept thinking how great it would have been to be walking. When I got home I was pretty whooped so ate dinner, watched the beginning of the VMA's and called it an early night.

Okay thats enough rambling for now. :)

The new addition to our family....

So yesterday we went and picked our mini cooper. We have waited a long, 7 weeks for this baby! But he/she (we havent named her/him yet) made is safe from the U.K to Detroit :) I knew Id be excited, but not this excited. This car is sweet!

Okay Im a little more excited about this car than I thought. This car is so sweet! It rides so nice, the sound system is amazing, the comfort is top notch, and its so much more roomy than you think! Last night we took a 2 hour drive out by the water :) Here s our new baby :)












I am so proud of Grant. He really is someone I admire in regards to his career. He has never gone to college, self taught himself everything he knows. He use to be in autocad but was always getting laid off, so he decided to switch careers. He said, I dont need a degree to get to the top, I can do it on my own. So after many years of dedicating to teach himself to be the best he can be in web developing, hes there. Senior web developer at an awesome company, and just promoted to project manager. He got there, and without that degree that everyone told him he would absolutely need. Hes amazing. Or like I call him, pardon my french, a fucking genius. He so deserves this car :)

So I missed out on my workout yesterday. I had a really bad day emotionally. But the car ride and time together with Grant really helped bring my mood up. New day today. No time to dwell on the negative or the past. Im getting ready to meet Jennifer to walk 12 miles. And that small 6 miler the other day, in the hilly area....that kicked my butt! It felt awesome! I have a feeling the actual route on the 3 day is going to a little bit more of a workout than I planned :) Bonus! (funny how I thought simply walking 60 miles isnt a workout eh?)

Tick Tock Tick Tock...

Doesn't it sometimes feel like you wonder where the time goes? Its been like that for me this week! I have been trying to blog for the last couple days, but when I was on the Internet I was researching stuff on thyroid. Im really concerned, or more like, frustrated with my thyroid disease. I couldn't get out of work for a doctors appt so had to reschedule my appt. and they cant get me in till Mid October! I feeling like crap and need to get in sooner. Ive been wanting to switch my meds and cant get in to even talk to my doctor at this point. So Ive been looking for a new doctor, and came across a yahoo group for Michigan residents with thyroid diseases. Lots of good info from other people which is nice to get referrals from. I spoke with this one woman about this holistic doctor she is seeing, and am very interested. I would like to try him along with a endocrinologist. It can get pricey since he doesn't accept insurance, but there is a 6-8 month waiting list so can save up the money by than. He has released a book, Overcoming Thyroid Disorders, so Im going to pick that up in the meantime.

Anyhoo, Ive been busy everyday this week. Labor Day was okay given the circumstances. I went to my moms for dinner and we grilled the usual. I stuck with one burger and corn on the cob. My weight has dramatically went up and I thought it was from the weekend. I ate a lot of salt while out walking all those miles, so thought maybe that was why. And its slowly creeping back down, so I guess I wont complain to much. I took the last two nights off from any exercise. Tuesday we went to the Tigers Game after work, and let me tell you I was so proud of myself. Ive mentioned before one of my all time favorite things to do is go to the ballpark. I love baseball. Just walking in the park puts a huge smile on my face. And usually the food goes right along with it. And since Im with Grant, he sometimes can eat like a bottomless pit. But this time I said nope I will not join him. So I did just that. I split a pretzel with Grant, no cheese. And had half of a frozen lemonade. I walked out of there eating only 300 calories. Go me! :)

Than yesterday I actually went and worked the Tigers game. Helped out some 3 day walkers that had a stand. Since it was such an intense game, I didn't get home until after midnight. Awesome, Awesome Game. I was drinking my water last night but still almost passed out from the heat. It was not fun. So did eat a kabalsa at like 11. It was worth it, it was so good.

Today after work Im meeting Jennifer, the other walker Ive been training with. We are going to meet about 5 minutes from my work and do a 6 miler out here. This is the area we are walking in during the event...much hillier than we are use to. So should be a good walk. Unfortunately, when I get home the laundry mat will be calling my name. So another busy night for me.

Ive been tracking my calories again. I think it helps. I hate doing it, but I need to know where Im at. At least if I know what calories Im at, what Im burning exercise wise..and it will help to realize if my thyroid is truly slowing me down or what. Staying focused...that is what September is all about.

Dreams

Do you ever have those dreams that feel like they are screaming a message out at you? I just had one. I laid down to take a nap, and had a really amazing dream.

While the dream did consist of this guy trying to win my heart, I feel there was another message to be had. Although having someone romanticize over me was a nice side message to :p

I was taking classes at a college, and everyday after class I was taking the long route to my next class. It was like 3-4 miles. Id always run into this guy who was on crutches. He was very athletic and something happened that he was on crutches during the whole dream, which took place over a 5 year span. We became friends, and always walked to our next class together. Well he was from a different race and for some reason it was like the dream took place back in the 60's. And when he asked his parents for advice on approaching me to ask me out they were dead set against it. Anyways he still felt so strong that he wanted to approach me to ask me out. So he made this video to show me, to sort of ask me out. But the day he was going to give it to me, we missed each other. His parents even showed up on campus trying to re-route us so we would miss each other. (the whole parents thing is weird..felt so after school special-ish) So he had a few friends chase me down and they played the video for me. The first half of the video basically talked about how he was looking for someone he could connect with, that had the same interests as him, and showed some clips of girls that were just after him for all the wrong reasons. Than went in about being athletic, motivated, and committed. It had clips of me...walking, laughing, us having lunch together a few times, and generally just happy pictures of me. And than flashed different words on how good it made him feel to be around me. Than it went into this part about how everyone around town (apparently we were in a small town) also noticed how awesome I am. (okay I'm getting a little self centered..but hey it was MY dream) It had interviews of small business owners, and neighbors who just were amazed by my dedication to the 3 day and community. Than in the middle of the video I woke up!

Don't you hate that?

And when I first woke up I felt guilty about the romantic side of the dream, and guilty of the butterfly feeling it gave me...but I also saw the other side. Ive been struggling with being happy with myself lately due to stress, struggling with finding how to getting back to a healthy weight, and being fit....and think it was sort of an eye opener that I'm headed on the right track and can be that person I want to be. As long as I stay focused I am that person. Its like I saw me from someones point of view. Maybe it was an illusion, it was just a dream, but for once in my life I saw the happy, content, ATHLETIC (did I really just saw athletic? you bet I did!) person I can be.

I have a feeling my chat with Kristen earlier today had something to do with having this dream. We were just talking about losing weight, becoming fit, etc. Its so nice to finally have found a friend that I can relate to about this whole becoming fit lifestyle. Ive struggled with a lot of issues over the past few years and have made huge progress in my life emotionally/mentally. I really think Im at a place now where I can put my head full force into this. Its like before I always yo-yo'd with weight issues because I was using it to mask other issues in my life. Which relates to Billy's blog the other day to. You really have to work on yourself inside and out. And while I have worked on the inside, I think Im finally ready for the outside to do some catching up. I know I have so much more to work on in the inside, but time to let the outside shine a bit to :)

I know I'm a big cheese ball sometimes, but everyone needs a little cheese in their life from time to time. :)

Drink Eat Walk Repeat

That is what my day was like today :) I met a 3 day friend this morning to attempt our 18 miler. I have to admit it wasnt has hard as I thought. We started around 8am, and finished right around 2pm. We took a half hour lunch, and probably 4-5 bathroom breaks. I have been doing a lot of my longer walks on blacktop, so have switched to city streets now. Boy can my knees feel the difference!

Overall I felt pretty good through the whole walk. Its nice walking with another veteran walker so we can keep each other in check while walking with food, water, and stretching. All 3 are so vital to keep your body feeling good! While training its harder for me to keep up with my water, vs on the walk you have pit stops every 3 miles and its just routine to fill up your water, pee, and eat.

My knees and feet are now achey hours after the walk, but generally while walking and even the few hours after they felt pretty good. We are meeting again for 15 at the same time tomorrow, so lets see how I feel when Im done with that. I think Ill bring out my awesome foot massager, it may be needed. hehe

Its kinda funny how once I reach any walks longer than 12 miles, that the last mile or two are the most challenging. Its like this game you play with your head. Totally mental. Its like you cant focus on anything but being done. When we were at mile 16-17 we were like wow we are feeling great! Than bam! it hit us like a ton of bricks...I was like all of a sudden this mile feels like 5! She definitely agreed. Than we thought well on the walk we would have to walk 5 more miles, so this last mile is nothing than :)

Grant is out with the boys tonight, a bachelor party. Even though its a bachelor party, the first half of their outing is at a bar where theres this anniversary party for a Detroit production company (that throws kickass parties) that I usually dont miss every year. But I opted to stay home, let the boys have their fun. I decided to have The L Word marathon. Now Im off to hit the hay and snuggle up with the furbabies. A much needed me time tonight :) Well me and the dogs. Can you tell yet, Im obsessed with my dogs? hehe How could you not be with these cute faces?!